There were 2 reasons I chose our pediatrician, and it was based on negative Yelp reviews.

In the mid 80s a college professor told me a (possibly apocryphal) story about a male student who wrote an essay arguing that women were inherently less rigorous writers- using George Eliot’s work as an example of the epitome of said rigorous male writing that no woman could match.

There are so many of these that are “shortly after giving birth I passed an impossibly sized clot” that I can’t feel anything but relief at my decision not to utilize that feature of my body. Holy crap.

I feel like I can’t compete with the writer’s story, but for me it was a period/virus combo. I had clots the size of guinea pigs dropping out of my vagina as I sat shaking on the toilet shitting my brains out while throwing up into a trashcan.

I love you, Barry.

Maybe I should start naming the three or four chin hairs that go from “invisible” to “one centimeter long and spiky” overnight.

And that one bastard on my jawline that I SWEAR TO GOD becomes two inches long before I notice it.

Right? Who says “macaroni and cheese” anyway? Really. I want to know. What kind of fucking fascists are out there talking ‘bout “I’m fixing to make some macaroni and cheese, Smithers.”

Who the hell knew Seth McFarlane was a f*cking communist?

Mac n cheese is SACRED.
Don’t f*ck with mac n cheese.

The day you make fun of people for calling it “mac and cheese” (because ‘mac’ is much easier for children to say than ‘macaroni’ and some things just stick) is the day you become even more of an asshole than you already were.

Especially with the thousand of events like this (unsafe storage, accidental discharge due to negligence) per year, rapidly increasing - it can’t be ignored anymore.

I have to get a mandatory education before I can obtain a driver’s license. It boggles the mind that in some places you can buy a weapon specifically designed for killing without the same rule.

Not to mention she calls her gun a toy and “plays” with it.

WAY too many of these “Don’t be a fraidy cat of my gun” intimidater types don’t have the FIRST CLUE as to how to store or handle them safely.

It’s time for mandatory education before purchase, ‘cause these people just aren’t getting it done.

I think DCFS is already on it. The child is with his grandparents.

This is way too fucked up to be funny. Terrible thing. All I can think about is how likely is she to be charged after this? Some kind of child endangerment? Or will they just let her off with a slap on the wrist if she survives? Anyone know?

I know. I’m having ‘Jamie Guilt’.

Never.

I WOULD LOVE HAVING A PRESIDENT COCKBURN.

Wilde 2016!

If gifs had sound I would have to quit using the internet.