Rational person: this movie failed because it was a shitty white savior narrative.

You bite your goddamned tongue! THEY HAVE TO MAKE IT. Think of the kids!

That was a nice thing your tiny town did for Corey.

Spot on. Also, I used to work at a movie theatre in a tiny town that somehow, inexplicably, got Cory Feldman to do an appearance before a midnight showing of The Goonies. He wore sunglasses and white pants covered in rhinestones and now, every time I see his face, all I can think of is his white sparkly pants.

Really? One more reason to hate Comcast.

Hustler facts: Comcast won't accept a mason jar full of pennies as payment... I just know these things.

Seriously, this is creepy as shit to be like, “Imma just regard 14 year old girls like 17 year olds instead. Cause I feel like I can justify that.” A 14 year old WOMAN? Just fucking stop.

Um, no.

Except that The Hunger Games already exists with a male lead, under the title of Every Other Action Movie Ever Made: Parts XXI-DCLXVI.

Or is it just not a bunch of angry men claiming women cannot play such roles such as Ghostbusters?

It’s weird that the media’s conception of NDT is like he’s a scientist in a superhero movie; someone’s a geneticist, yet they conveniently know how to build a robot that shoots lasers from its eyes.

I hope so. Is she perfect? No. But she kicks ass. I’m a fan.

You know, they didn’t get a horse to direct Seabiscuit!

literally my first thought when I saw this was BUT HOW CAN IT HAPPEN WITHOUT RICHARD

so down.

I am the opposite of a celebrity, and I can’t step outside naked either. :(

Sure, when Justin Bieber goes outside naked and people see him it’s a violation of his privacy. When I go outside my front door in my underwear and people see me I’m “drunk and disorderly” and “no longer welcome at public parks.”

Well at least all of Jezebel knows. THIS JUST IN, FIGHTING POLISH? GIANT DONG. DING DONG A LING LONG.

“My first thing was like, how can they do this? Like, I feel like I can’t step outside and feel like I can go outside naked…You should feel comfortable in your own space.”

New goal: Hold a press conference to tell the world I have a giant dong.