Has the Library of Congress started archiving all tweets yet?

@SLNaeole is not a Lesbian shitass but plays one on Jezebel: Indeed, that's precisely what worries me. Could there be such a thing as a Scott Baio impersonator? That's so sad I just want to cry.

Oh Renee, nothing can compare to what is surely the shitassiness of being Mrs. Scott Baio.

Dear God, please help me -

@spooki: And that pink string "bikini" should be tattooed on his forehead to give him some freakin' humility.

3rd grade, best lunch ever: mashed potatoes, a slice of apple pie and a glass of water. My mom still teases me about that.

But...but...everybody likes pandas!!!

Because my great-grandmother died from a back-alley abortion in the '20s, my grandmother was left to raise all the younger siblings. She worked picking fruit, in a munitions factory in the war and didn't get married or have my mother until her mid-late 30s. However, I have no doubt she was a virgin, being an uptight…

@BabyJane: Looks like he's gonna get a long sentence...in dog years. BUM BUM.

What on earth is on the front of that bumper that makes it taste so good?

Well done, Paul, because she always looks amazing. (And Tim Gunn agrees.)

@clockwise - counter: I was thinking the same thing...it's like twelve year olds playing with the computer on so many levels.

@violettefay: I agree! I have bought from Zenni Optical, and Goggles4U both. I recommend measuring the dimensions of a pair of glasses you already like - the size of the lens and bridge - and looking for something of similar dimensions. At as low as like $12 a pair, I have tons of options!

@Notes from the underwhelmed: I think they were remembering Amy's hair debacle from last week.

I think it's a tie between #6 and #8 - they give me the same shudders that sleeveless turtlenecks do.

@LoSpaz: I'm assuming he recognized her as the fugitive in handcuffs that he let walk away from airport security...kind of weird for a cop, non?

That gender bending feature could be the strangest thing I've ever seen.

I can't get over the look of horror on Kermit's face in that top still.

I have never found Howard Stern even slightly amusing for a single second. I cannot understand his fans and listeners. I just had to vent. He makes me spittin' mad.

@bookling: From Tim Gunn's blog: "he did so by giving them body and shape by stretching them over a plastic mess material that's sticky on one side (it's used to patch drywall and plaster)."...He also calls Emilio out for not having an accessory - he seems pissed that he wasn't auf'd!