Definitely the best “Game 5 or 6 with his team up 15, teammates going off, and the best defensive player on the other team out” player of all time, for sure.

The man is throwing children over 16 foot fences into yards and garages? He’s throwing children AT children in sandboxes?

Build the fence higher and make RG3 pay for it!

Let me tell you something about the Cleveland Cavaliers: Fuck the Cleveland Cavaliers.

Buying beer the first time I went to Philly was a goddamned ordeal.

Look folks, it’s hard to tell how tall the Trump Tower is on any given day. Some days it’s maybe 2, 3 thousand feet tall. Other days it’s a little less than that. When you own that many towers, you can’t keep track of everything from day to day.

Or get the bowl and splurge an extra buck for the brown bag of tortilla chips to go with. BURRITO NACHOS!!!!!

Soon this league will be virtually unrecognizable. A power forward the size of a single proton? OK, pal, but not on my watch!! Do you think a wing player should be no larger than a down quark so that he can exploit the laws of physics to travel the potato through the objective circle? NEITHER DO I MY FRIEND BECAUSE I…

When my wife is driving and I’m in the passenger seat, I just about thrust my right foot right through the floor stepping on an imaginary brake pedal.

Joe Thornton vs Phill Kessel for the Stanley Cup

Joe Thornton OWNS and Kevin Paul Dupont can go fuck himself.

I believe Gandhi said it best, “All it takes for evil to prevail is for good men to not ask, ‘Who wants to sex Mutombo?’.”

*****SPOILERS AND ALSO CONJECTURE********