Wait, $42,000 for Uber rides?

But they said please so that makes it alright...

As a Dallas native, I wonder how the hell Houston can be so far down that list from us... Oh, the Astrodome?

I think they should settle their differences in the ring... the jello wrestling ring.

Because ejection <> cheap shot?

I have this song playing in my head when I look at these tweets:

Hope Solo would have stopped that goal.

Needs to work on his corner flag celebration skills. A bit sloppy there. They take time for those kind of things at the end of practice right?

If he dies, he dies.

But did you see the pythons on the head referee? He must work out.

Well now we know what kind of websites blow Bruce’s hair back. And they are nasty stuff given the amount of product it looks like he puts on his melon.

And Wawa may be the sound you make when that thing explodes out of you as fiery lava bathroom mess later.

I’d still give her the what for. I’d check the room for weapons first, but yeah. I’ve seen the pics, and the crazy ones are always the best in bed.

Goddamn Ed Hochuli and his 24 inch pythons...

So many amendments in the constitution...

Just give yourself a stranger when you get in bed. That might tire you out enough to avoid dealing with the murderer.

Not sure that using kids as human shields is a particularly compelling argument either...

Between all the violence, death, Zika, super bugs, and multilated body parts I'm pretty confident in where ground zero for the zombie apocalypse will be located.

So, this is the FSU version of my kid's soccer participation medal? Did the whole team get to go to Sonic for dessert after they got their rings?