If you asked my grandparents they’d say “yard work”. I don’t they had to worry about hyperactive kids on the farm. Ditch sugar and red food coloring, too.

For the cost of the truck you could ditch the giant-ass furniture and just move your personal stuff. Buy new giant-ass furniture in Texas. They will deliver it right to the room it goes in.

We have no guest parking at our development because all the people’s garages are full of shit and they use the guest parking for their cars.

They don’t want people to know how to block 5G. Pass it on.

Now, if you want to impress me, steal a fucking lobster out of the tubes.

“According to the documents the Chinese testing company gave us, yes. It passed with 500 stars.”

1981's King of the Mountain? Anybody?

If you choose to work for a obscenely wealthy dick and his evil corporation, you really shouldn’t be surprised when bad shit happens to you. Same for Wal-Mart, Facebook or the rest.

For rural mail carriers.

I’ve seen VW Golfs rocking these wheels.

I think globally few drivers are confident in autonomous cars. People who don’t own cars and rely heavily on public transportation like it, like Lime scooters, but want it with cars or robot taxis.

More like syrup, KGB and Cabot Private Stock.

Put sweet pickle relish (and a little juice) in the yolks, please. If you don’t have any, you can use tartar sauce in a pinch.

They won’t discount them.

“Port rots ships as well as sailors, Mr. Christian.” - Capt. William Bligh

“Nice Malibu!”

“There is a noticeable color difference between the bodywork and the back bumper cap, but that could just be a trick of the light in the photos and not an indication of a respray.”

“Dude, the computer says it fits!”

Who cares? If it’s for “safety” then why can’t they all do it, instead of this cockamamie bullshit?

All cops can smell is ‘weed’ or ‘alcohol on his breath’.