My best friend in High School used to have my girlfriend sign his excuse notes as his mom. He had so many on file with my girlfriend’s signature that when he did finally present a “legit” note from his mom, he got an in-school suspension for trying to forge his mom’s signature. He took the suspension so he could still…

It wasn’t serious. It was a campaign promise made to get younger, heavily indebted college grads to vote Democratic. Now that you did, they would prefer you fuck off and shut up about it. Until next election cycle...rinse & repeat.

PT Barnum said to never underestimate the stupidity of people.

My pet peeve is granting licenses to complete, fuckin’ morons. my son will be getting his permit soon and we tell him all the time, “Never trust another driver to follow the rules. Assume they will do the dumbest, dangerous and riskiest thing possible.”

Poor people are poor mostly due to their bad decisions. Not getting an education, buying too much vehicle with no money, wasting $$$ on “entertainment”, not saving money, etc...

In CB parlance, non-quilted polished stainless rear doors are called a “shiny hiney”.

Petty, vapid people like to see stories about bright shiny celebrities that have no impact whatsoever on their lives.

Who was surprised it was a 17 year old girl?

Are you replacing any spring isolators, rubber bushings or rod ends?

He looks like a guy who rolls an eight-sided die to determine which article of clothing to remove from his silicone sex doll.

Get a cheap-ass salvage toy-hauler/condo trailer and become vagabonds!

The Buggy Whip Manufacturers Association and the Starched Detachable Collar Company agree with you.

Two hundred laps with the full field at Bristol would look like a merry-go-round.

I wonder if the relative stopping distances between both vehicles were even considered before attempting whatever maneuver she did and failed?

She was running late because she had to read to orphans and groom shelter cats before her shift.

Jacob Jingleheimer Schmitt was the law firm that represented Joseph Jacobs.

Sometimes those you consider “the poors” and their neighborhood are doing just fine without you and don’t need or want a white savior to come in and save them.

Those are the transplants. The other half of Vermonters you avoid are the slack-jawed locals who love their guns, their sisters and jokes about non-white peoples.

The people using the park were there first, so fuck the part-timers complaining in their newly built condo. 

Wait until Amtrak starts running trains again. All those folks near the tracks are gonna be mad.