I once had some of the best braised beef ribs I've ever eaten on an American flight. I viewed it as a fluke.

Can’t we already buy a Traverse?

This is truly the lesson many of us fail to learn.

If you’re on a boat that has a fuel gauge, ignore it. It’s just for show.

Weird Smell Capitol of the World. Only place I’ve been that could smell like sewer, Liquid Paper and cherry cough drops at the same time.

My Dad taught me that you don’t ever have to pay a mechanic if you have the time, tools and an adequate supply of profanity to complete the job.

And Cuban cigars.

I’m gonna need to see an interior shot showing spilled chocolate milk and cheerios and McNuggets ground into the carpet.

Never let your kids pick the restaurant.

Fail.

Mostly naked chick holding two crystal balls wrapped in a smoke dragon or GTFO.

Truly cool people don’t care what other people think.

Wanted a WRX Sti for graduation.

The Russians hacked the app. They deny it, but that only proves it’s true.

It was very full boob.

I guess you missed the end of Game of Thrones.

I had a rental with 1,230 miles and I hate-drove that fucker 2 seconds after I picked it up and drove it off the lot. The gas pedal only controls engine noise.

If you’re going for the Corinthian Leather, only rich Corinthian Leather will do.

He’d seem more like an actual human if he ordered a hot dog with ‘kraut & mustard from a street cart and ate it. But he won’t.

RICH Corinthian Leather, pal.