What they do with it is out of my hands after I give it to them. A good server is worth a big tip, a shitty one less so. The restaurant can pay the wages of everyone else.

I usually ask my server ahead of time if they pool tips. If so, I leave a cash tip on the table or hand it to them.

My second car was a 1979 Dodge St Regis ex NY State Police car. It looked like the one in the pic, except no side moldings and it had a spotlight. When I had it, NY still used them in service and traffic would part like the Red Sea. Highway traffic would all slow down when I got onto the highway. I never ever had a…

You get what you pay for. Next time ask for a Versa.

Also, there will be plenty of time to react since they will never be driven at or over the speed limit. Can’t jeopardize the AARP insurance cost.

A single ply of chipwood school TP will give kids splinters.

I think they meant golf cleats.

You can get a very nice yacht for the price of a cheap house ( 100-150 grand) and finance it like a house, too.

There are so many rust-free Jeep projects around where I live. Any one of them would be a better starting point than any of the rusty, cancer-laden  “deals” he finds in his neck of the woods.

You have to pee.

I suddenly have a hankerin’ for butter shortbread cookies and a glass of milk.

He won’t buy any car from the south, as he has a ferrous-oxide fetish.

I thought you would say to swap the oil with an equal part of melted butter.

She’s cheating AND projecting. Hire a lawyer AND a P.I.

Just over the border in VT. The Papa Gino’s & Dream Machine were in N Adams, MA. Used go roller skating in Williamstown, too.

When I turned 16, my parents got me a limo and I took it to Papa Gino’s AND The Dream Machine!

If you will be living on it, I would not recommend a boat. What you really need is a yacht - and a boat to get back and forth to shore, because dockage is expensive and living on the hook is free..

Never be afraid to walk. When he started making condescending comments to you, that was the time to leave.

Did you burn off all your tastebuds on hot chocolate.

I bet you’ve been egged a few times with that Necco wafer garbage. If you really don’t want kids Trick-or-Treating, why not give out black licorice and Hall’s cough drops?