I wish you were a lady, because by your logic, that rant would have been two to three paragraphs shorter.

Everybody replying to this in the greys with “yeh but $$$” ... right, sure, it’s not like she’s going to have to go live on the street. That’s not the point. Money’s a great thing to have but there are countless examples that it gives people neither fulfillment nor happiness on its own. Vonn, and every other elite…

Cold take: Wall is openly dumb. He didn’t know what quotations were called and called them “exclamation points”.

I have one of those alarm clocks that projects the time onto the ceiling, which I love. If it could project that gif onto the ceiling as an alarm. I would do everything in my power to get that alarm clock elected into the senate of the United States of America.

“Outside of Felger” is where I’d like a knife to be right after it was inside of Felger.

i can’t help but think that Russell Westbrook answers the question “what if Steve Smith had played basketball instead of football?”

People these days. All these snowflakes go right to their mommy blogs when I correct them on facebook by telling them, “Actually, your kid seems a little ‘cunty’.” Now I’m not welcome at Thanksgiving anymore. Did I make a big deal about it when their kid had an allergic reaction at my Super Bowl party? No. I told them…

Yeah he is probably the best ever, thanks for bringing me back to earth.

I wears a sports coat when flying because I LIKE wearing a sports coat. I’m not the type to “tsk tsk” at the proliferation of yoga pants and board shorts, but, I still subscribe to “look good, feel good” as a matter of general practice.

Let’s just breakdown what we’re working with here.

GW truly is something, legendary. Thirty years from now when my grandkids hear the names Curry, Thompson, Green, their eyes will go wide and they’ll say they were the greatest ever. They’ll also say Durant was a bitch.

What happens if they don’t? Do they eventually start accumulating delay of game penalties until they have to start penalizing them half the distance from their own end zone and run into Zeno’s Paradox where they can never get all the way back for a safety? Does the NFC Championship never happen? As the years pass by,…

I understand how you feel but there are 5 or 6 New England Revolution fans who think you’re an asshole. Good day, sir!

Kudos to you for that being a real team.

LaVar just voluntarily shipped half his family to Lithuania. Portland isn’t remote enough. Maybe Mongolian powerhouse Hovd Shonkhoruud?

So you’ve already decimated those lists.

Due to me being a dumbass who misread the schedule, this post initially had the Cavaliers playing in Portland tonight. The game is in Cleveland.

“Penultimate” For the last 150 years it was “Next to last” and then, like three years ago, somebody dusted off a Latin book and pulled this diddy out, probably ironically, and now everybody fires it off all the time with no regard for the fact that the next to last of anything isn’t particularly interesting at all.…

As a Lakers fan, fuck the Celtics.

Which legacy is tarnished by sleeping in a recliner while an inferior ex-linebacker “teaches” the guys stealing your job?