F that guy. He’s a weirdo.

Also, cleanup is a snap. You just go over the toilet (SEXY), and the TP is right there.

It’s almost as if he was raised thinking you could get away with murder...

I left out the best part of the story: small school and social circle, news travels fast. That night at the bar I was feeling a bit sorry for myself and a bunch my female friends were comforting me, and apparently a rare view of myself as a vulnerable human and not just a soulless, drunken monster appealed to a couple…

In college I dated a girl who was a classmate’s friend from back home for about 18 months. I really liked her, but wasn’t sure about our future. She resolved it for me with the nicest, most tactful breakup ever. She drove up from her home 1-1/2 hours away on a weekday, and laid out the reasons we should stop seeing…

I usually prefer to move on continuously, but whatever works for you.

Goodell: [shakes Tunsil’s hand] Pretty exciting night for you so far, huh?

Came here for the delicious, delicious yinzer salt. Was not disappointed.

Caged? For artificial insemination? Coward! Sissy!

It’s important to have a job that makes a difference, boys. That’s why I manually masturbate caged animals for artificial insemination.

Hey man. It’s gonna be okay.

You decided to have kids. Everyone is really fucking impressed. I’m sure those little shit stains will save humanity. Stop whining. No one gives a fuck about your kids.

1. Do they dump it?

I’d criticize school staff for not seeing through the ruse, but in all fairness, nobody’s ever met a 30-year-old from South Sudan.

Lots of people do. That’s why we don’t really have real journalism now. People would rather be entertained than educated. Tavarish’s writing style sounds like a kid writing essays for his Lit 100 class at the local CC.

Ok, so Lanesplitter is officially dead. I’m sorry, but a page that does nothing but feature old ass motorcycle crashes and shenanigans already exits everywhere else on the internet. I mean, if Gawker is going to put zero effort in, why have Lanesplitter in the first place?!!

Fuck knows the last thing you fuckers seem…

HIghway speed in the rain is not inherently “extremely dangerous.” It’s annoying and uncomfortable, but totally doable without much more extra risk than _driving_ in the wet adds vs. driving when it’s dry. In fact, highway riding in the rain is probably safer than surface street riding in the rain; no frequent…

White Guy Says Thing About Black Hair.

The kids aren’t on your lawn. Stop yelling at them.