MrsSmithofAbilene
mrssmithofabilene
4/8/19
3:43 PM
4

Jake Owen has on the closest thing to a Nudie suit shown so he wins. 

10/10/18
1:04 PM
59

Fingers crossed you didn’t just curse all of us (or yourself) by sharing those photos.

10/9/18
6:29 PM
97

Ghost Realtor in the sky. “Always Be Closing ... death is no excuse!”

10/9/18
4:07 PM
179

Aw, it’s nice your mom thought that. I would think he’s a murderer coming to kill my whole family in our sleep, but that’s the pessimist in me.

10/9/18
1:43 PM
92

That’s really lovely. Like, I probably would have peed myself a bit in the moment, but after a change of pants, I’d have really appreciated it.

2/7/18
11:49 AM
16

She even discovered some Blanket Flakes in her phone some time after the incident

1/25/18
11:48 AM
26

I actually kind of love this twist. Everyone was so obsessed with how he died and to find out it was a fucking crockpot that did it is hilarious... to me... someone that doesn’t watch the show.

1/18/18
10:04 AM
69

I would also like to speak on behalf of the generously be-titted who love to cook: aprons are not fucking meant for us. (Not that this is Meghan’s problem.) Every cute apron ever made does the dreaded slide and ends up hugging one giant can and looks like shit and fuck aprons.

1/10/18
5:51 PM
6

If I was a cashier, I’d use a rubber glove to take those coupons.

1/9/18
3:15 PM
275

I feel like this is the foundation for a Seinfeld episode where George wants to go to space to gain 3 inches of height.

1/8/18
7:06 PM
212

As funny as it is to laugh about Trump Tower catching fire or how he is, like, a stable genius, I still hate to end the day thinking about Our Moron President.