I don’t do resolutions; I just try to learn a new skill every year. Wish I’d started twenty years ago, then I might know how to do twenty cool things by now.

This article will feed Clapback Mailbag pieces for months! There will be a sobbing becky in every Ugg boot! A cavalcade of unhinged rants from every Brad with an email account! At least one Black Republican performing an Olympic-level shuck & jive floor routine! IT’S GONNA BE GREAT!

If you don’t want to be spoken about honestly then don’t do stuff that will reflect on you poorly it’s just that simple. Especially near the end of your life when the people will remember what you did at that time far more vividly than the stuff that you did earlier in life. McCain I don’t feel sorry for I cannot when…

OMG yes that too!

Just coming by to let y’all know that Gravity Falls is like a suuuuuuper good show, and everyone should watch it.

“Where else are you supposed to meet people?” - Tavis Smiley

You clicked a Zelda you mean.

Literally anyone could have written that false information. Your sources are suspect.

I hoard their balsam and cedar candles every year. I want my house to smell like Christmas tree all year round and no other fir or christmas tree candle I’ve ever had has managed it as well as the Yankee Candle one.

So Sandra Bullock’s doing the eating in every scene bit that Brad Pitt did in the original trilogy? Good, because that’s the only reason I watched the first three films. If someones’ not literally chewing the scenery, I’m not interested. I hope she gets some meaty scenes with like a mile-high pastrami or something…

It’s almost as though an adult with kids that they seem to interact with a lot when they’re home, and who commutes via public transport, has completely different wants and needs than an adult who doesn’t have kids and drives to work.

“For me, I am the driver.”

So... you don’t have kids, or a Switch?

Then you really have nothing to add here.

If you don’t have kids you have 10% of his adult qualms.

My fiancee shouts at me if I have the blinds open for like, five minutes after sundown. Anyone could peep in your windows, man. I’m not about that “no privacy” life.

The only reason that poor, ol’ Kathy Rae is still with us is because Ms. Reed didn’t take off her earrings.

You know your life is in jeopardy when momma comes at you all calm, smooth-voiced, and hair, makeup and nails are on point. I stood at attention during her video th n clapped giving her a standing-O.

Damn it, I was hoping the headline meant Sarah Huckabee Sanders had released a video of herself doing “The Jackal.”

I’ve never seen stovetop macaroni except the prepackaged variety.What do you do for people who like the slightly burnt corner of the macaroni?