Jay! We gotta go to Sully’s, bro. I need a dahk and stormy to settle my nerves. Plus, the Pats game is on. Go Pats.

Boston is truly the best of America.

My down-the-street neighbour is one! Lawn sign and everything! I couldn’t figure out for the life of me why he scowled, shook his head and stomped inside after I gave him my “hi neighbour” smile yesterday. I had forgotten I was wearing my Bernie shirt.

One of the local radio stations asked listeners what questions Colbert should ask trump and boy they did not disappoint. They read them off and here’s a few:

So many! And also, an inordinate number of snow cone stands in grocery store parking lots. If there’s a strip mall with a grocery store and a Blockbuster video, you can guarantee that in the parking lot was a Sno-Shack snow cone stand operated by an equally high 20 year old.

Yay! If they had a BCO called “Teenagers Who Were Too High To Be Serving You Food” I could send in several entries!

Reading this story has been the highlight of my day.

This is an amazing story. I hope it gets all the stars and is featured in its own BCO one day.

You win - I laughed really hard at this and not so much at the featured entries.

I love this story so much.

Trying to sound cool while not knowing what the hell you’re talking about makes you sound like an ass.

I am realizing I’m probably someone else’s abjectly terrible restaurant employee story.

The meat thing totally makes sense. And I agree with you completely. The whiskey story is really just one idiot talking to another. I could imagine the bartender sending his story into BCO too.

Christ, thank you. The bartender was dumb for not knowing “neat” but the customer just looks like an ass for trying to look fancy by ordering his drink neat (because, that’s how the true connoisseurs drink it) and then not knowing that both bourbon and Scotch are whiskeys.

As the gf/author of the thirsty waitress (so glad there is a term for this now) I wish I had let her have it. But at 17, I was a chicken.

lye. the answer at that point is always lye. and maybe a blender

“Dear Ask A Clean Person:

“He’d mixed a half-gallon of bleach with a half-gallon of ammonia in the mop bucket.”

For me, church was youth group every Wednesday night (I picked up work shifts every other Wednesday), which was basically church with minor supervision in the form of a cooOoOOoooky youth pastor that was totally down and hip to our jive and cooly fresh yo, and understood our young feels, and, "...word, dog. I get you.…

The last one HAS to be a Fazoli's. HAS to, right?