Thanks. I pretty much considered it all worth it when I ranked Slim Jim flavors a few years ago, all just icing on the cake now

Out of budget or not, send a damn thank you note.

I actually don’t mind those, it takes a lot of effort and guesswork out of the gift-giving. Ah, you’re getting married? What can I afford? One fork? Excellent, happy wedding, here is your dinglehopper.

I have been reading all of these with total nonchalance. Stone cold. Cool ghost story bro. And then I read "Look at Me".

YEAASSSS! I've been refreshing all morning waiting for this! Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll curl up on the couch with a hot cup of tea and a butcher knife.

It bugs the shit out of me when people can't be self-aware about what they don't know. Look, I'm not going to try to fix my own car, because I'll just fuck it up. There are professionals whose skills I respect who can fix that shit. If you're a celeb who wants to start a ~lifestyle site~, the best sign you've got a…

at least she keeps her word

Keith Olbermann Doesn't BELIEVE How Much His Sister-in-Law Makes Every Day From Home!

I want this so much and I want it to not be $200.

I'll risk it and take my chances, and have for over 41 years. For me, there's nothing more disgusting than an over cooked egg.

You take that back, yolk-hater. YOU TAKE THAT BACK!

We're never going to be able to have nice things, are we?

This made me spit out my afternoon wine.

oversight ALERT :

what they want isn't "most women", though. They feel entitled to the size 4, white, rich, blonde sorority girl (80% of this or more is about looking good to other men!) and see the women they could actually get as "beneath them".... while the women they want, are so far out of their league that they're in orbit. If…

I think marketing this exclusively to women is a huge mistake. There's no fucking way their FlaskTie can hold 8oz as discreetly as it claims.

Actually, that would be Paddy, because the Irish spell Patrick "Pádraig", and they get irritated by Americans saying St. Patty's Day. On the other hand Patty Mills of the San Antonio Spurs would agree that it can be a boy's name is Australia.

PAT! Thank you for your INPUT, it's very NICE to hear some INPUT from someone with an INTERESTING viewpoint. I look FORWARD to reading MORE of your posts in the FUTURE.

Side effects of Monster Spray may include dizziness, dry mouth, irritability, restlessness, diarrhea, vomiting, water eyes. Do not operate heavy machinery while using Monster Spray. If monsters continue for more than four hours, seek immediate medical attention.

1. Those who can, do.