Well, now, that’s just insulting to the great Lily Tomlin.

“Stress makes you break out, so I’m dealing with a lot of zits right now.”

“Carly Fiorina is either a deliberately manipulative liar or an uninformed bonehead.”

Ketchup lady and foam lady are complete and utter cunts. And I’m pretty sure 1/4 pepperoni lady is my grandmother.

legal abortion is “the taking of innocent life on a massive scale”

Hell, I’d just be happy if they could make pharmacists hand out the pills without getting to hide behind the “It’s against my religion!” argument. But this is cool too.

“If he says he’s a woman, then he’s a woman,” said Rick Santorum. “And I’ll do everything I can to deny his reproductive rights accordingly.”

Um. Let him?

I often got whistled or honked at from guys driving by our house while I was mowing the lawn when I was 12 or 13, still very much a child. I did not take it as a compliment. It pissed me off. Like, I don’t know you, pal. And how often has that move gotten you laid? It’s not as bad a story as some on here (the 8 year…

I KNOW. I just started watching it. GORGEOUS. I hope to finish it when time allows.

Makes me think of this:

Beautiful. This is my favorite.

Maybe ‘cuz Wicca is a religion that holds up the male and female as equal, and no one’s ever started a war in its name?

“been universally short tempered and testy”

Oh, I agree—a special wouldn't solve anything. And I didn't expect they'd really give us one. I guess I'm still just licking my wounds over its cancellation. Stupid HBO.

But don't despair: a special is on the horizon.

I just love that you've referred to parenthood as "owning". I like to call children "pets that can talk", myself.

"You can't do sweatpants… ladies, number one cause of divorce in America, sweatpants, no!"