Imagine if a male star said this. Shut up, Jennifer.

God, I am so happy I can stop thinking about this.

Yes yes yes but when it comes down to it....is it nice? Is it right to kill something else just because we can and want to? Ask any child and they will say no. That’s the cold hard truth about eating meat. It’s not right. It’s not nice. It’s just wrong.

No Netflix, all chill.

Americans need to reacquaint themselves with the lifestyle trend of hobo (Ho-bo). Living in cardboard boxes tastefully insulated with old newspaper, draping yourself in fourth-hand fashion stolen out of donation boxes, and sumptuously dining from dented cans of outdated meat and veggies foraged from dumpsters. Our new…

White to the point of appearing translucent and gives you an orgasm? Honey, you’re English. That’s just your hand.

And because it’s biodegradable, Lia argues it’s safer for the environment than the plastic tests.

I used my mother’s precious, hideous Spode for skeet shooting

I read that and thought “holy shit I had no idea every other man died last night damn”

In a world with a Rami Malek, Oscar Isaac and Idris Elba, there is NO excuse for this malarkey!

Someone liked my story from last year and that means it’s no longer lost, so I’ll post it here again. This and the other story both happened in the same house about a two years apart. Here it is:

I really want a job as an influencer. I recommend fruit flavored seltzer water, mixed breed dogs, never wearing shoes with Velcro, and Fun Dip Lik-a-Stix. Does anyone feel influenced? Give me a dollar.

Whatever, maybe I’m a sucker but I actually liked the ad. Life is complicated but some things aren’t - if you’ve worked with someone to build something and had a positive experience, why wouldn’t you sit down and socialise with them. Engaging with each other more and straying from our self-imposed “camps” is what we…

Taylor Swift influence