He's the most gorgeous man that ever lived. You've got good genes!

Tell me you tweeted this article at him so he will know Jezebel put him on blast for all of the internet to ridicule; just as he has ridiculed Retta. #asshat

This...this whole article made my day. #notalllampreys

Yes, we have no bananas! I'm sorry you got mugged by monkeys but the visual was pretty damn funny! Thanks for the laugh.

I want to smack that kid! I am so, so sorry that happened to you. Karma's a bitch, though. Wherever he is, he's having a miserable life.

Texas City Dike Beach on Galveston Island. My grandmother, "Gram", my sister, Kate, a friend, Cayce, and I were having a ball spending the day at the beach. I was 8 and Kate was 12. My Gram brought 2 of those enormous black rubber inner tubes so we could ride the waves. Because Cayce was our guest, she got one to…

This made my whole day. I felt super glum and weepy today but this cheered me right up. What a great story!

Brown paper packages tied up with strings; these are a few of my favorite things.

Did someone say, "52 oz. Bloody Mary"? Extra, extra hot; no sausage, thanks. Even the douche of the world can't hold me back!

I realize I shouldn't engage trolls but you are also a bully, which I simply cannot abide. If you do not understand why a parent becomes angry when someone calls their children "slow" in any capacity, again, I will say I do not think you are actually a parent. Either that, or you're very likely raising monsters just…

I got your "shitty" pun but didn't find it particularly funny. Although, I do appreciate you calling me a "nerd", calling my boys "slow" is such a fucking dick move, you should be ashamed of yourself. My 10 year old is dyslexic, you cock, but that has nothing to do with his ability to potty train. Potty training at 3…

Let me guess, you don't actually have kids but you know someone who does?

I have 2 boys, 3 and 10, and a daughter, 7. She was potty-trained at 2, but both boys were 3. I also taught 2 and 3 year old preschoolers for 3 years. Boys tend to have a more difficult time in my experience. It has nothing to do with "shitty" parenting. It's perfectly normal.

Me too! She probably genuinely lost that weight and toned up on the SYTYCD set and tour (I totally went to that season's tour). She went from being a casual dancer to a full-time, paid dancer. Total dream come true there, even if it was only a couple of years.

You're a fucking animal. These are children we're talking about here. I can't even....

What are the odds? I'm not a conspiracy theorist but come on, really? Who stands to benefit from this and WHOSE pockets do they have their hands in? No one would even take credit for it. It's astoundingly sad and incredibly suspicious, to say the LEAST!

I love you all! This has been the greatest comment section of all time for me. I spent way too long watching all the clips. SYTYCD is the ONLY reality show I watch and I'm religious about it. Alex and Twitch were incredible but let's not forget Comfort and Twitch, too! I can't find a quality clip but this will do.

Technically, she was my post-college roommate, as I was 24 and still living in my college town. Working 2 jobs to drink and party. I was DEVASTATED by the loss of my beautiful, talented, big-hearted sis, as you would be. THEN, to come back to GA and find that your 2 besties had hooked up, DESTROYED me. Both of the…

BEFORE the roommate from hell, mentioned above, there was my girl with "COCKSUCKER" tattooed UPSIDE-DOWN across her back in 2.5" letters who told everyone it was a snarky, feminist statement to the guys who were...umm...in a position to read it right-side-up. I don't really know why you would want to get snarky with a…

When I was in Ireland for my 28 year old sister's memorial service, my college roommate helped herself to my slimeball boyfriend of a year and half. *Yes, he was just as responsible as she was. THEN, I forgave her and was casually dating another guy, who I was honestly just looking for a reason to blow off. Well, she…