Yeah, totally dodged a bullet. He was definitely a part of the “if there isn’t constant drama, it’s not real love” camp. Luckily, I moved on and married a far more suitable, anti-drama man.

You are my world right now.

I got dumped immediately after seeing it in the theatre because the BF wanted “more of a passionate/tumultuous relationship like the one in the movie.”

I agree. I eased myself into black coffee over a year; cream and sugar, then sweetened almond milk, then just milk, then black. I love it.

At 5, I accidentally poked my baby sister in the eye whilst trying to push her in her motorized baby swing. She screamed, I thought “well, that’s the end of me” and I decided then and there to run away. I went out the front door, down the steps, realized that I wasn’t allowed to cross the street, so up the drive and…

Hey, you too.

BOOM.

Ahh, reverse racism. One of my favorite cries of white privilege.

“Where’s my cocaine?”

Isn’t it interesting how if you have a friend who acts like an ass, it’s perfectly acceptable to cut them out, no questions asked. But a parent who abuses, neglects, dehumanizes and generally fucks with their child’s mind, they should be forgiven because “that’s your mom/dad” and “I’m sure they tried their…

Same here. It is difficult to watch someone you love want so much to be supported and praised and loved unconditionally by their mother, only to be rejected time and time again.

Thank you A MILLION TIMES for using this photo. Oh, the crazy.

my sweet baby niece is named Charlotte and I already see this as being a problem for her. SHE HAD IT FIRST BITCHES!

This is the total point. It’s not like she was a veteran daycare worker there who had a difficult day. She hadn’t even STARTED the job yet. I wouldn’t want someone with that attitude towards work, being put-out before they even start, working on my team, especially with something as exhausting and stress-inducing as…

But he snorted coke off that stripper’s ass so well.

The. Best.

Ooohhhhhh, Scott Hastings. That dance behind the curtains is THE SEXIEST EVER.

I freaking love her stand up. The bit about Barbra Streisand on Oprah is one of the funniest segments ever.

I CANNOT stand her crying in movies. It's so over acted, like she goes from trembly lip to full-on sobs in 3 seconds flat. It reminds me of the kids in drama class in high school who learned they could cry on cue and automatically looked for reasons to do it in every. Single. Scene. EVER. Blah!