What he lacks in style and technique he makes up for in a superior corner team, fashion sense, nicotine intake, and incomprehensible gibberish.

“He was also pro-apartheid”

“We have to give some credit to the American people that they’re somewhat intelligent.”

Yup and the rats are jumping ship..

I called my rep over here in GA, prepared my best Customer Service Voice, and prepared for the time of my life.
Staffer: How may I help you?
Me, in my Finest Southern Accent: How do you do, is Representative [redacted] available?
Staffer: Uh, no ma’am, he’s not.
Me, Rolling a Natural 20 on my Charisma Check: Oh, well…

Well . . . I do have a Youtube video of Chris Pratt doing a magic trick. It was my understanding he has the soul of a Golden Retriever, so I think that should work:

Since Tomi did not read “The Handmaid’s Tale” and never will, I will answer for her! The answer is “NO,” spete, “No, Serena Joy was NOT happy in Gilead. She spent her days consumed by seething slow-burn anger because the system she worked to build turned out not to value her as a person at all, and put her out to…

Someone made my husband an origami figure of our old dog (RIP you wonderful creature), he still treasures it.

This diversion is welcome.

You could make cookies/treats for the puppy! There are tons of healthy recipes online. Make sure they’re specifically for small dogs; what’s healthy for us can be poison to them.

What kind of dog is it? Crochet dog toys could easily be a terrible idea if the dog eats them. I would stick with painting a cute mug for the owners with dog stuff on it.

Totally unrelated because I’m tired after not getting any sleep last night (my anti-anxiety medication ran out, and I think that it’s increasing my sensory overload) and feel compelled to share happy things, my colleague is getting a puppy next week. He’s going to take time off to bond with the puppy and has taken to…

Madeline: I’m so sorry you’ve had to go through this. Nobody deserves to feel unsafe or humiliated the way Tom did. I’m sorry that Michael, who was supposed to be a friend, let you down and backed Tom, even though you were the one who was wronged.

“Becoming ugly” is a gift if you can manage it. I get a lot of shit for it from the people who knew me when I was a very sweet, endlessly polite and appeasing 16 and seem to think that that’s who I still should be, but it’s worth it. I even get a little thrill of satisfaction when I say something harshly true or…

You’ve put so many of my unarticulated feelings into words. I, too, grew up feeling that I had to shoulder the bad feelings for men who couldn’t handle them. I can barely look at my husband lately without raging because I know in myself that I’m done shouldering things I never should have in the first place—but I…

This is so good. And mirrors so much of what I feel. Hopeless and angry and just so fucking full of rage at the class of men that I don’t know what to do with myself.

Madeleine Davies, always my favorite.

My favorite part of this column is looking for my favorite piece of shade in the piece. “Mariah Carey posted a picture of herself and Stella’s cheek.”

I mean, as Jewel said: “As a feminist, I can’t support everything that’s being said tonight, but as somebody who hates Ann Coulter, I’m delighted.”

Um fucking excuse you I had things to do this evening that didn’t include watching a Christmas special in mid-August, and now you’ve blown that all the hell.