In my experience, people generally have an idea of who they’re most interested in hearing from.

I’m not a hey kind of guy, because I agree it signals unwillingness to put in effort. Not that my approach of writing substantive and (I think) witty and profile-relevant messages has gotten me anywhere online dating. Usually those messages go straight to the void.

The ‘dick is abundant and low value’ is basically a response to the message perpetuated throughout the media that ‘pussy is abundant and low value’.

Great, I’m glad you’re up for equal investment. I think it’s an important bellwether for how a relationship is likely play out.

I think this is the answer: all the straight guys who actually like women and want to make plans with them are not in the dating pool.

So you haven’t read the comments from women saying there’s no use in taking any initiative with a guy because he he’s interested he’ll do it all himself? Really?.....I mean, really?

Not gonna speak for him, but where does reciprocity come into play—I mean, if you’re trying to have some kind of relationship, don’t BOTH people need to put effort in?

Is the article not about women not getting the interesting, hilarious, messages and meticulously-planned dates they believe they are owed from guys who they have expressed a mutual interest in (presumably by both swiping right on Tinder, or meeting at a bar and exchanging numbers)?

You’re pretending like you don’t have some kind of choice here. And that’s the problem. You either make an effort to MAKE things fair, or you don’t. If you don’t, then you’re not a good partner. Blaming patriarchy because you’re lazy just doesn’t cut it. There’s an actual person on the other side of the relationship,…

LOL

Well, I’ve never sent a “hey” message in my life. It’s not my style, and it’s also not a luxury afforded to big bald Shrek looking motherfuckers like myself, so I certainly don’t want to defend the “hey” guys coasting on their “penises” and “abs”. I admire you for pitching woo in whatever way you see fit, because as…

But isn’t that the complaint? How can someone put the bare minimum in but expect the other person to handle everything? That’s just a recipe for a very imbalanced, and probably dead-end relationship.

I wish there were more like you!! This has been one of my biggest frustrations dating these days. And the thing is, it’s not just about the annoyance of feeling like you’re putting in more effort, there’s also the signal that the effort sends.

I’m saying that women sitting back and expecting someone to send them a hilarious and well-crafted introductory message because they have vaginas is the equivalent of men just saying “hey” and thinking that’s good enough because they have penises.

No commentary on your personal dating life or conversations you’ve had,…

Somehow worse than “I HAVE A VAGINA. WOW ME!”?

Yeah. You’d think that absurd level of cognitive dissonance would cause an an aneurysm or something...

I’m surprised (though I guess I shoulnd’t be) at all the responses that are: “You can’t begrudge me for doing the bare minimum, but I expect him to take care of everything, cuz reasons.”

Fair enough. Just don’t be shocked when men take a similar tact. “Well if she was interested, she would put the effort in to make things happen”.

Hey is just a delay to see if a girl expresses sufficient/convincing interest.

Hey works remarkably well with a huge sample size actually.

One doesn’t respond, you unmatch, move on to one of the several that do.

Easy peasy. Leave the entitled ones to the suckers.