A wild guess: Jeremy Renner. 

Huge loss... what a badass woman. Rest in peace, Jessi.

Political beliefs aside, how anyone can listen to Trump whine non stop like a total fucking baby, while simultaneously sounding like a complete idiot of the highest caliber, and walk away thinking “Man, he’s so strong and inspiring” is something that is utterly beyond comprehension.

That event happened expressly because her five-year-old isn’t going to make it to six, but you’re right, she should smile more. *rolls eyes*

Right? She’s been crying for weeks and now someone says “could you please pose for the PR shot?”

Is there a greater Liverpool cult hero than Divock Origi? Looked destined for stardom until an awful injury, always found scoring the most timely goals. Fuck, I love him.

How about the probe into whether or not Trump has been trying to influence the investigation? Judge, I’d like to call your attention to the following comments made by the President....

Who needs a Kentucky Colonelcy when you can be an Admiral in the Space Force. 

The guy parking across two parking spots in an empty CVS parking lot at 2 am is a fuckstain? That’s the person you want to call a fuckstain here?

How many cop cars is too many cop cars for a parking violation? Because they had like six cars worth of cops out there. Probably would have been easier to move the car (thus freeing those precious spaces up for the Walgreen’s patrons who needed them at that moment) if the whole parking lot wasn’t filled with cop cars.

Huge props to Larry for stepping up here and taking a public stance on this. Us libtards can yell and scream and shake our fists on issues like this all we want, but it will always fall on deaf ears to hardcore 2nd amendment supporters. It’s going to take a major effort from high-profile guys like Chipper, who likely…

If someone wrote a book about NASCAR management over the past decade, it would go like this:

I’d also point out that you’re making your hot dogs all wrong. First you open the bun, add the condiments you want. Then you add the dog on top of the condiments. The dog keeps the mustard and relish in the bun and off your shirt.

The fact so many people dislike Russell Wesbrook absolutely baffles me. We have an athletic freak the likes of which we’ve only seen a handful of times in the league, and he really, really cares about winning. On top of that, he seems interesting and thoughtful, and dresses in ways you wish you could if you didn’t…

How much vetting did they really need to do, though? Isn’t that like, the new standard issue white supremacist douche haircut?

Eh, the reality is this whole clusterfuck will soon be forgotten and Kendall can go back to Kendalling and then the nuclear war will wipe out everything.

“Illegal stitch in time on the receiving team. Nine yard penalty. Replay the down.”

It’s honestly emboldened white people in general (disclosure: white person, here).

Someone disagreed with you on the internet and you think you’re owed an apology. Keep checking that mailbox. Apology is on it’s way. Just like a Hennessey Refund check.

Is it ok to genuinely like anything anymore? Dude is a handful-of-times-in-a-generation talent who had one of the best offensive seasons in NBA history last year and gave probably the most heartfelt MVP speech in American sports history. Who the fuck is worthy of our admiration in contrast? Please do tell.