“Ridiculous linguistic gymnastics” is right on!

House fires are less environmentally-friendly than fake trees.

There are cheap gadgets that can find a burned-out incandescent bulb in a string. Unless you completely burn them up in the house fire caused be your natural tree, light strings are 𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 repairable. https://www.amazon.com/Collections-Etc-Christmas-Light-Tester/dp/B004FJRI4S/

I added “built-in” lights to mine. You just have to align the beginnings & ends of the light strings with the take-apart sections of the trees.

It’s also cheaper than the highly-taxed alcohol you’d need to make your own extract.

Comcast = data caps. After the third time they blocked my account (without warning!!), I switched to Verizon FiOS. Too fucking expensive, but at least it works reliably.

Came here to say something like that. How can anyone possibly call a speaker jack an “aux port”?! Kids these days...

My 50s through the present (I’m now 64) have been the best time of my life. Finding my One True Love at 49 may have had something to do with it (in part because she helped me retire early from a no-longer-satisfying job).

No YouTube, no Amazon. Gonna wait for the Google Home Screen (hey, that’s no more lame than Google’s own naming attempts).

No YouTube, no Amazon. Gonna wait for the Google Home Screen (hey, that’s no more lame than Google’s own naming…

There’s more to production and distribution than the cost of materials.

Or use this to make anything bubbly: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B001U83TWW

And it’s so useful! /s

To add substantial weight without making it obvious that you’re trying to (like including an uninteresting rock in the package), use a box lined with lead. As a bonus, it will keep the recipient from X-raying the box to find out what’s inside before it’s time to open it. Spent uranium would work even better, if you…

What’s the most expensive piece of equipment in your kitchen? Has it made your life better? A couple of 3kW commercial countertop induction hobs, which have radically improved the quality (and speed) of my cooking.

If you put loads of brandy in it, no one is going to complain about it and it will disappear nicely.

This article would be more trendy if you used an iPhone X to make an animated emoji GIF from the pile of green poo in the third photo.

Here’s an experiment that I tried a while back:

I use a Google Home and an Echo (Show) next to each other in my kitchen, because each will give useless answers to various types of questions and I can then fall back on the other.

Judging from your photo, that earthquake a while back did more damage to the Washington Monument than I’d realized.

For the ultimate in simplicity without sacrificing flavor, serve Costco rotisserie chickens and tell everyone that they’re “baby turkeys”.