Worked there for 5 + years, its a joke and basically everything you wrote is correct. The failure rate is nothing new, its been known for years.

It sounds oddly romantic.

aaaaaaaaand, added to wishlist

[Me, mounting a polar bear at sunset]

I have been a TSA officer for almost 8 years. I can think of a number of reasons for this failure rate.

True that on the Val Kilmer remake. “Model bloat” isn’t just a problem for cars

Easy, just look for this logo:

The control panel from KITT, along with the slightly condescending but soothing voice of William Daniels. That Val Kilmer bullshit from the remake can just suck it.

An onboard OBD reader. Instead of giving you just a Check Engine Light, it’ll actually give you codes and any additional information.

Kind of a cop out to include the Monte Carlo and Lumina, they are basically the same car, with the MC being the rebadging/minor restyle of the 2 door Lumina.

Seriously? Literally none of them would still be on OEM tires. According to wikipedia it;s due to safety issues with bridgestone and firestone tires but they wont rent to any with any tires.

I take issue with your assessment. You’re probably just being hyperbolic but these were pretty reliable and once the tires we switched to a different brand the problem went away.

Friend had one of these in highschool. He would leave the top down during the day and people would just throw their trash in it. Also had a decent sized hole in the passenger footwell going down to the road.

Also known as the Rover James

I had a Sunfire, the Pontiac version of the Cavalier. It wasn’t as bad as this made it sound. I needed something cheap and new so I didn’t have to fuck with anything to get to my first grown-up job. It sufficed.

As for the stereo sucking, that’s why there’s an aftermarket. Factory radios weren’t supposed to be awesome…

FTFY

The Geo Metro is the best crap car out there. Its so bad its hilarious. If I had the convertible version i’d just have a blast.

I love how GM took home 50% of this list.

My first car was 1998 Lumina LTZ leather seats, sunroof and the 3.8 series II with dual exhuast. I spent many evenings doing FWD one wheel “burnouts” with it. Great for a first car but was solidly 90’s to the core

Whaaa? The Geo convertible screams “I know it sucks, but I don’t care.” I think it would be hilarious to bomb around in one.