I just learned to give my baby boi an injection, and LET ME TELL YOU, it is the easiest thing in the world to do!  He doesn’t even flinch! 

I don’t know if they’re fucking, but I DO know that I now want to fuck Liam Payne after seeing that hot instagram picture!

ALL THE THINGS SHE SAID

Hold up.  You haven’t been able to try them out?  So this is literally just about you liking their zippo case?  

It took me WAY TOO LONG to find Kylie Jenner in that picture.  For real - I though that was Blac Chyna! 

I googled the shelf life of poptarts. Unfortunately, it’s only 6-12 months. 

I almost threw up. 

Who’s the cute boy on the right in the picture?

It was a [famous] movie, as well, directed by Hitchcock in 1940.

Wow I had to scroll away from those pics so fucking quickly

Does Apollo allow you to download songs to the watch for offline play?

Oh for fuck’s sake - let’s all just board when they’re allowing military & first class to board. Zone 1 for everyone! Because the rules are changing, right?

This might be a really really stupid, ignorant question, but..... are all these fish dead?

I don’t have an AMPLE SUPPLY OF RUNNING WATER THAT FLOWS FROM THE TOP OF THE LAUNDRY MACHINE DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF ME.

I’m not worried, thanks.

Do you think the other birds and ducks know that this is a special duck??

Fuck you Comcast.  And HA to everyone! I didn’t see a SINGLE political ad!!!!! 

How do they police this? I can see the policy getting abused by a bunch of no-good liars...

You are being PURPOSELY ignorant if you don’t know what blackface is.  It’s fucking 2018 people... 

How the hell are you going to write about a podcast, and not even provide its name?