Well you sure as Hell don't wanna get in front of it! Recent tests have proven that this baby can leave welts on a UPS driver the size of a quarter!

@disqus_m2BaxKudJM:disqus I thought The American Dream was killing your boss.

We'd better be able to. I don't want all the time I spent modifying this paintball gun to go to waste!

I meant in terms of both smell and what is expelled.

GET HIM!!!

Duh! Just take a fork and poke one of his eyes out! Are you honestly telling me you've never partially blinded a midget pimp before?

@avclub-9ff7c9eb9d37f434db778f59178012da:disqus Have yo tried being a straight, white irredeemable fuckwad? If you're all those things, plus either a pretty lady with great gams or an obese old man, you should be set!

*[Stares at watch]*

The main takeaway: Alex Jones is an asshole.

@avclub-c1a181c99ac4568d774b6585bc0a2153:disqus Are you sure? The Nintendo Switch seems to have that market pretty-well cornered.

I feel your pain. It's supposed to his eighty degrees outside tomorrow in Minneapolis. EIGHTY! Who says global warming isn't real?

@Fancyarcher:disqus I don't trust that guy. I've repeatedly inquired about who, if anybody, watches him and have yet to receive any formal response.

I thought it was the hippo from Madagascar!

Looks like fans aren't going to pac the theaters to see this movie.

I'll show Ye!

@steppedpyramids:disqus I would have gone with a Theremin that's possessed by a sassy demon or an enchanted Sousaphone.

My God, they even have their own anthem now!
https://www.youtube.com/wat…

Lifelong gamer here (I performed my first fatality on the Sega Genesis version of Mortal Kombat when I was seven. I was Sub-Zero and uppercut my friend (playing Johnny Cage) into a spike pit. While I'm familiar with the basic RPG mechanics, I've never rolled a D20 in my life.

@avclub-78d66e7514954eb0c2a6a7067a792d66:disqus Neither. It's a battlefield. Someone wrote a book on it long ago, but it was long and boring. Its availability has varied greatly in the past. Back in the 60's, it was so rare that it couldn't be bought. But in the 70's, it used to be some prevalent that it was said to…

And who posted that last tweet? You guessed it: Frank Stallone.