BAD

“This” is a weird spelling of Ivanka.

My guess would be electromagnetic flux from the mic confusing their navigational organs much like moths to a light bulb. 

For what it’s worth, another big advantage you have over other millennials is time. As mentioned in your article, you are an “old millennial” and were born at the very beginning of the generation. Seeing as the millennial generation ranges from 1981 to 1996, you have up to 15 years worth of additional earning and…

And you know Seattle and Vegas will meet in the Western Conference Finals right off the bat, too.

The universe is a cold and mostly empty place, and all its movements are guided by nothing more than the indifferent leftover energy of a large explosion, and sometimes that energy randomly sends a speeding baseball directly into your crotch.

Umpire Tosses Dick Who Argued Balls And Strikes; Tossed Ball Strikes Umpire’s Dick And Balls

Why is every single elected official out of Iowa a fucking moron on even the most basic issues? You guys are running neckbeard-and-neckbeard with Indiana, and that shouldn’t be a point of pride. It’s amazing that Grassley can even put on his fucking shirt in the morning, much less write a fucking letter. And this…

Not gonna lie. I now have no idea what actually happened.

The only person who saw all this coming was Tony Romo. 

And, while we’re at it, let’s put a little bit of blame on the kid’s coach: he should’ve said “go fuck yourself” and marched his team right out of there.

Hot Take: If you insist the only “real” way to play Smash is Final Destination-style and no items, you aren’t as good as you think you are.

Or whenever his cookies are done baking.

I’ve started refering to this phenomenon as “The War of Christmas Aggression”, mainly to see who all I could piss off with it.........................

I mean, doesn’t everything?

Needs more lesbians.

“Starbucks appears to be striving for a lukewarm medium”

Agreed on all counts (except for the double double stuff, I don’t have that kind of sweet-tooth). The only think I’m offended by is seeing this season’s greetings shit any sooner than December 1st every year.

$20 could also get you a good sandwich, a cold soda and a blunt

Did someone say drugs? My vote is drugs.