Amazingly, the dazed birds were cleared to fly again only minutes later, after passing through the NFL’s (very rigorous) Avian Concussion Protocol.

(not pictured: bald eagle)

The NFL is already penalized leading with the head, what more can they do?

I actually have a solution. Birds could stop flying full speed into walls like idiots!

BUYGHAZI!

They don’t give two shits about American Jobs and never have.

And all this time,I thought they were there “for her pleasure”-!

There’s a reason education sucks, it’s the same reason that it will never, ever, ever be fixed. It’s never going to get any better, don’t look for it, be happy with what you got. Because the owners of this country don’t want that. I’m talking about the real owners, now. The real owners, the big wealthy…

How are they supposed to blame job losses on foreigners in order to win votes if people actually have jobs?

Yes, but! If you ensure that the population is too dumb to understand the complicated relationship you just described, you can keep on keepin’ on and just blame everything bad on THE MEXICANS and THE MUSLIMS and the people will believe you! Meanwhile you giggle as you take dives into your ever-growing money pool!

This is so overly dramatic I can’t even stand it. All you have to do is not have children and viola! Nothing to worry about here. Already have children? Just get rid of them! Put them to work if you absolutely can’t kick them out. Child labor laws are obviously a thing of the past in Trump’s America.

Don’t forget this also will be our next supply of recruits for the armed forces.

Put her to work in the local walmart. You could use her chin to open up packing crates.

Also not widely known - the rumble strips at the sides of motorways are to let blind drivers know what road they’re on and what junction’s coming up...

Bigly delicious! BIGLY

But enough about Melania’s love life...