You got it!!!!! Yay!!!

I also like how you tagged this post "Spooky Scary."

Interesting.

The OP could absolutely be perpetrating a hoax

Could?! Are you five years old?

Entertaining story though.

When I haunt you I promise I'll only do it on Friendster.

Exactly. My main point of skepticism is that the person it is actually happening to is posting it in a place for scary stories. Some scary noises, sights, dreams, or coincidences? Sure, I'll post those personal experiences on a scary story thread. A creepy thing involving a loved one I lost in a terrible accident? I'd…

WARNING! Carry on reading! Or you will die, even if you only looked at the word warning! Once there was a little girl called Clarissa, she was ten-years-old and she lived in a mental hospital, because she killed her mom and her dad. She got so bad she went to kill all the staff in the hospital so the -government…

You think that's scary? I once had some Pad Thai that was so spicy that when I finally shat it out, it spoke to me in an eerie disembodied voice and told me who would win the Cy Young Award in 2010.

I'm sorry, but your headline really oversold it. This is approximately the level terror this inspired:

Dat's nufin

We're done with fetching, but I did cover love that's like a red red rose. That's one of yours isn't it, Mr. burns?

For me, it was when the Gilmore Girls ended. Except instead of peeing into my own mouth I clutched a decorative throw pillow and cried about the fact that I would never again visit Stars Hollow for the first time.

For me, it was when the Gilmore Girls ended. Except instead of peeing into my own mouth I clutched a decorative throw pillow and cried about the fact that I would never again visit Stars Hollow for the first time.

I feel like whoever came up with the Rainbow Party urban legend has never worn lipstick. It either comes off in the first few minutes of wearing it or you drinking/eating/touching anything, or you have to scrub the shit out of it. Nobody is going to be able to have a mother fucking rainbow on their penis.

That would be a welcome change of pace after this and rosebuds.

HERE COMES NEXT WEEK'S BIG PIECE!

Except instead of peeing into my own mouth I clutched a decorative throw pillow and cried about the fact that I would never again visit Stars Hollow for the first time.

No, I hate everyone equally. It was one of the selling points on my CV.

"I'd only eat something that I think I could kill," he said. "I'd kill a fish. Not a giraffe."

I'm not hating on meat eaters in general. I'm hating on how disingenuous he sounds with his whole "I wouldn't eat a giraffe" argument. It's just so precious and supposed to make him seem like someone who is super conscious when all it does is make him sound obnoxious.