The Florida woman had to think fast,

Can't say that it does.

So this was an Aramark taste-testing focus group?

I was expecting a Randy Johnson-worthy explosion of feathers:

Well, they can turn off the internet now. This just won everything, ever.

You're right, I could see Voight too. I probably defaulted to Walken because I just saw him in a commercial for a movie.

Holy crap, Christopher Walken is a matador?!

"Yep."

Dolphin-fuckery, apparently.

Female dolphins, on the other hand, apparently have muscles in places you've never imagined, and do all sorts of ... things that we humans can only dream of.

Hell yeah!

So I've learned two things today: Kat makes jokes about multicolored cereal, and the term "strident" has baggage I wasn't aware of.

I'd not heard that either, nor ever seen it used in a negative connotation. When I've encountered it, it was generally used much as one would "strong" and/or "forceful."

Meh.

Ah. Given the usually strident tone of your articles, the "default setting" for your material seems to be serious. With that as a basis, humor isn't exactly expected, I suppose.

I'm all for inclusiveness, and glad they're showing support for equality. However, given that Lucky Charms (and many of its consumers) predate the rainbow flag by more than a decade, it seems a somewhat wishful stretch to theorize that the colors of the cereal bits were originally associated with the LGBT symbols &…

All present emerged un-stabbed, and un-possessed by household appliances.

Knowing this kid, it was much more likely G-O-D.

Ohhh, I remember that one. Not long after, there was the controversial ruling in which they upheld an assault conviction in Mother v. Cracked Sidewalk.

Perfection.