Never bothered to peel off the CANDLEBOX sticker from the trunk I used during my college days…the CYPRESS HILL sticker looks too good next to it, I guess.

That dude with the neck tats trims my hedges-does a great job for a white kid.

Nothin' beats a retarded kid shakin' a fuckin' snowglobe…NOTHING.

Today at the New Morraco, I got kicked in the taco!!!

Spinal Tap, OF COURSE…but what about Michael McKean, Joan Jett AND a certain pre-Parkinson's Michael J. Fox in "Light of Day?"

"WOLVERINES!!!"

The wife and I LOVE this dude…we were glad to see him pop up in "The Last Stand" of all places…what ended up happening to him in said movie was a bit of a bummer, though…

Kind of…they all get drunk, fuck and kill each other in anticipation.

This show is the most boring sex with the most beautiful woman in the world. 

Mah-lee-ah?

But…is it good for twerking?

2 balls of meat.

TABLEAU!

Years ago, my future wife got knocked over by a shoplifter at the record store we worked at. He made off with "El Oso."

As a child, I was always hoping for a spin-off for the chick from "Facts of Life"…I had to wait decades to see her again, sweeping floors for Swearengen. 

That made me giggle with almost enough torque to force flatulation-crisis averted!

Reminds me of the time my buddy bought a lemonade from a little kid on the side of the road, just to dump it out right in front of him…

I think getting shot and falling off of a fucking bridge is a pretty good excuse to fall off the wagon as well.

Oh yeah man, Sonya made it pretty clear she doesn't get attached to people easily-that was a powerful scene in Marco's doorway for sure. I'm glad you found your knife-I'd be pretty sad if I lost my "Every Good Boy Deserves Fudge" cassette-it's black, and that's nifty.

I've been in an abusive relationship with Metallica since 1989.