He plays for the Jaguars

This is staged, pandering crap. If there's no flames, bodily fluids, or nudity, I'm not interested.

Exactly, which is the problem. Because that’s not the point.

Bravo, Megan. Keep doing your thing.

As a Maryland alum, I am both shocked and flattered that we even made the cut to get previewed. Thank you, Deadspin readers!

Wait, were you trying to get a jersey of a retired player in the team’s current uniform, which he never played in? Because if so, that’s appalling.

As a Red Sox fan living in Baltimore, this is deeply concerning.

Okay so, how do you clear your searches from the GIF box? Asking for myself.

Wow, we’re slut-shaming ponies now?

I assumed the guy in the picture was Rand Getlin until I got to the bottom of the article and the line about the meme, and now I will go back to not knowing who or what a Rand Getlin is.

I love seeing Twitter threads between 7 people where by the end they have like 5 characters left after including everyone’s username.

Hah, yes. I was thinking about the Nets as well. Sold their future for a few years of having a chance at a title, but never even came close. The Saints at least have their draft picks.

The worst part is that they’ve made all these moves and have nothing to show for it. They haven’t been competitive in 3 of the last 4 seasons, and won’t be this year either. They’re like an NBA team that fights its way to an 8 seed year after year instead of bottoming out.

It’s like a mobile version of YTMND and I, for one, couldn’t be happier.

Before this post, I can’t remember the last time I thought about Conan O’Brien, which kind of bums me out.

Making dogs watch the White Sox? Sounds like animal cruelty to me, folks!!!

It really made no sense. In Revis’ year in New England, he didn’t always shadow the best receiver, but when he didn’t, the best receiver was double covered by another corner and a safety. Then Revis took the 2nd best receiver and ideally both were eliminated as options. What Washington was doing, I have no idea.

I used to eat sunflower seeds whenever I had to write a paper in college or law school. I’d just keep stuffing them in for hours as I sat there trying to write. It just became a habit at some point. And then when I was done the sides of my mouth would basically be numb from all of the salt and I couldn’t taste…

In fact, football would stand to benefit MORE than basketball on final plays from its implementation. Once the ball is snapped with 0.2 seconds left, the clock becomes immaterial. The QB doesn’t have to get a pass off before the double zeroes hit.

Yeah but you edited out the part where he waved a gun in Lochte’s face...