I don’t know who that Amber chick is, but I would love to splatter all over her face while I finger my own asshole. She’s cute. It’s a complement.

Oh good, another hot, boring winter in Shittyzona, something new. Everyday is the same here.

Are those the same person?

Really? Parents in the most overrated city in the country were outraged? Do you realize this shit hole was that last state to institute MLK day? Do you know the only reason they did, was because the NFL told them they will never get a Superbowl in Phoenix if they don’t recognize MLK day? Phoenix, and the entire…

F that! My stomach dropped just watching it.

Excellent story, I feel the same way. If I am out at a restaurant I always look at all the beers, for something I have not yet tried, but that is when I’m out to eat, and not sitting at a shitty bar getting pissed up watching football for 10 hours. At home, and the bar, I’m a Pabst guy. Born and raised near Milwaukee,…

Hank buys these and shows his wiener next to them, so it seems larger than it is. #teammrbo #mrbotober

What a great article, of course I didn’t actually read anything past the headline, but I bet it was full of good info. I stopped hanging around Hank, because he was always bringing me down. Now I just secretly watch him, through his windows, from across restaurants, or crowded places. There is nothing more satisfying…

I remember this one time I was at BWW. I spotted Hank, on the other side of the restaurant, so naturally I started rubbing myself, under my table. I just sat a peeped while he berated each waitress that came to his table. “I said you bring the wings uncooked, so I can fart on them before they get cooked!” He kept…

It was awesome he checked his watch before he checked his junk.

If you’ve got it, flaunt it.

Hey! Great news. Did you know all the blood they use at Hospitals in Vegas, is processed “Right Here in Arizona?” Now it’s real, because Shittyzona is connected.

Somehow, they will make the tragedy in Vegas about Shittyzona. Because it’s not real until it impacts Shittyzona. 

Shittyzona always tries to create a competition with L.A. too. And the talking heads on the news, say “Right here in Arizona” about 200 times each newscast, like we forgot where we are.

24 years ago, I made the biggest mistake of my life, I moved from Wisconsin to Shittyzona. And before all you dipshits who think it’s great here, and tell me to move back, I wish it were that easy. Moving from a cold weather climate, Shittyzona seems appealing. At first it isn’t bad, but then year after year, every…

What a leader. Inspirational.

Most of the time when you get away with something, you would think, wow, that was a close one. I better straighten up. Not sheriff joke. This guy has done nothing but divide the community in Shittyzona, for more than 20 years. I would never wish harm upon anyone, except maybe Hank, I wish he would shit his pants in…

I’m not sure what to make of this, are you watching football, or the National Anthem? I don’t buy the package, because I like to hang out with people, drink, and watch football, but if I did purchase the package, can I demand a refund, when the Bears don’t even try, like in week 2? Come on, who can’t even stay in the…

Good! I’m glad this story is on here, so I can comment. My best friend, just sent me this story from SI, here is my response to him: “I don’t care for that. Kicked out for smoking! What kind of a world do we live in, when a man dressed as one of the all-time sexiest men alive can’t light up in an OUTDOOR ballpark?…

Pictured: the only barber Dylan Roof has ever visited.