This makes me sick! This is a victimless crime. No, it isn’t even a crime. Big deal, so he dropped a dook outside. I love shitting outdoors, it makes me really feel at one with nature. Every other animal just shits where it wants. Fucking dogs just shit everywhere and then when someone is walking around a scenic place…

This is BS, that guy was just sitting there minding his own business, not bothering anyone. He wasn’t even really into it, it was just gentle stroking. They could have at least let him finish.

Well, well, well, those are certainly something. Since I was 17, I’m 46 now, I have shit my pants, in public, at least 25 times. Here is my review of each of these: Mike, your shit was solid, and you couldn’t hold it? Anyone can hold in a solid dook, all day, if they have a place to sit. You just had to throw in a Bam…

I don’t care what she says, I don’t listen to her. However, I do look at her, and punish my penis, thinking of how sweet that vag would be.

She isn’t very pretty. I mean I would still finish all over her face, I just don’t know how much I would enjoy it. She would love it, of course.

I don’t know who this person is.

I don’t like this. It’s peeping without the fear of being caught. The thrill in Peeping is, that chance you might get caught. I can’t tell you how many times, I have been outside a neighbors window, peeping in, watching them eating dinner, watching TV, or sitting on the toilet, while I am beating my dick mercilessly,…

Can I just be a peeping tom in this game?

I don’t know who this dude is, but I really want to put my wiener inside of Leah Remini.

Disgusting. 100% correct no one wants to see your feet, on a plane, or in a restaurant, or at the movies, or at a ball game, or sticking out the window of your car on the freeway. I can’t stand people and their filthy feet. 

She should be punished for whatever she has done wrong. Send her to my house, and I will make her suffer by chowing down on that vag for about an hour.

What a baby. Just kidding, my knee hurts looking at this.

This is really cool. You know I found a similar void in Hank’s pants, where there should be a penis.

Here is what happened. I was alone at a baseball game, Hank was nowhere near me at all. There was a woman sitting in front of me. She was pretty top heavy and had a nice phat ass. About the third inning, I started whispering sexual things in her ear. I could smell she was getting moist and her nipples were bursting…

I am really mad about this. Kevin Spacey should be ashamed of himself. I came up with the excuse, “I’m sorry. I’ve been drinking all day.” Not him.

Hold on. Is the weekend a person? If that is the case, I want to start being called The Millennium. What could be better then that? Is an Eon longer than a Millennium? I could look it up, I’m just really lazy. The weekend? That’s only 2 days. Is that how long his career is going to last?  

I would love to see that chick bent over in front of me like that. “Here I’ll give you something to be sick about, it’s my wiener.”

I haven’t been this hard since I went to WrestleMania X - Seven in 2001. I’m about to explode!

He was shopping for a new hat?

Is she blaming someone for farting in her direction?