Instead of bustin’ ghosts they could order wonton soup and just generally riff about whatever.

“Sign me the fuck up!” — John Malkovich being offered a small role in any mediocre genre film in recent years.

I admire the writer of this article fo squeezing 250-ish words out of something that could have been a tweet. It’s harder than it looks and takes skill. I was entertained for 15 seconds, the AV Club got some clicks, everyone's a winner.

Jamm keeps sending Leslie whole boxes of MAGA hats. Trump is popular in Pawnee, especially since Jessica Wicks was appointed Surgeon General.

#MePew

Bob Saget needs to sit her down at the end of her bed and patiently explain that what she did was wrong.

Pepe le Pew is a metaphor for pansexuality

r/TheDonald

Rich tea and Bisto, an American classic

I always thought the american dish of biscuits and gravy was, like, cookies smothered in beef gravy.

I only realized recently that I know none of the words to Come On Eileen. I felt like I did, I feel like I sing along all the time, but actually I just sing “come on Eileen/I swear na na neen/at this moment you need everything/need to digress/na ne na tight chest/obie wobie/ah come on Eileen”.

Hope the real Stacy Dash isn’t involved or she’ll try to pin the crime on Hilary Clinton.

Saying Marvel movies are uncinematic is like saying Tarkovsky films are a bit boring. Both statements are undeniably true, both statements miss the point, and both statements will get the worst people on the internet @ing you.

Lol. This is a legitimate issue of free speech in comedy and there’s, like, zero reaction from the Free Speech Warriors. Maybe they’d take an interest if China banned rape jokes.

I believe Hawke got twice Delpy’s salary on Before Sunset, which seems a bit bizarre and inexcusable.

[Disco Stu voice] “Best Picture went to some great movies between 1972 and 1978. If these trends continue...aaay!”

It's funny that we have this big debate about Oscar-worthiness when the Oscars generally go to absolute dogshit. Like, is there anyone who thinks Endgame is not as good as Green Book? Even Marty got his Oscar for his worst film (Goodfellas not being as Oscar-worthy as Dances with Wolves).

Things We Didn't Talk About When I Was A Girl is a remarkable book. A woman confronts her rapist, raising a whole bunch of questions about how both victim and perpetrator should feel. Important reading. 

This has brought me so much joy. Thank you, Apple Merchant. 

...unless you were doing a meta thing, where you complain about an article you haven’t read about people complaining about a movie they haven’t seen, in which case bravo.