I hate Destiny so much it’s not even funny. I play it every single day.

THIS!!

Which was exactly my point! Dole, from way back in 96, is not an example of Republican infighting and Romney wasn’t really a meh candidate— he had solid support and most Rs deluded themselves into thinking he was actually going to win.

It'd be like The Onion version of Joe Biden.

“President Ted Cruz.”

John Oliver, my hopes rest on you.

If Hillary is the Democratic nominee, people better vote for her. I don’t care if you disagree with some of her policies. We all do. But don’t not vote, or vote for a third party candidate in protest. That would pretty much guarantee a Republican victory, a two-term presidency, and Republican-appointed Supreme Court…

If like me, you think she’s the best of a bad bargain, suck it up and vote for her. Thank you. We have a Supreme Court to think about.

How are we going to handle this without Jon Stewart? I am alone and afraid.

Yes, because weird transubstatiation rituals, making signs on the foreheads of babies, and chanting from ancient texts are definitely not things one should seek guidance from.. Oh wait, I’m describing christianity. My bad.

Every time someone says ‘the one true god’ all I think of is Melisandre.

First you let a witch bless your legislature, and next thing you know you’re diverting aid to Hogsmeade and spending half your defense budget on developing anti-Dementor weapons. It’s a slippery slope, Iowa.

I imagine he’d be saying (in Latin or Arabic):

Rep. Rob Taylor (R) attended, but turned his back during the blessing. This, he believes, is what Jesus would have done. “Jesus would be in the chamber, from my perspective. He would passively protest,” he told reporters.

I’m pretty sure if Jesus was there, he’d be all like “where the fuck did all these Pharisees come from?”

Jesus would be pretty pissed about the whole Christian public prayer thing that they usually do before every session, given that whole speech he gave specifically prohibiting it. I doubt he’d be very concerned about what one Wiccan did, and more concerned about how most of his followers are getting his message so…

God I love when they’re all directly confronted with what inclusion means. If you’re gonna let one religion in, you have to let them all!

I couldn't hear over the sound of gunshots.

Oh boo-hoo. Cry me a river!

I’ve been a GAF regular since late 2012 and I’ve never been banned a single time so far.