Everyone would probably assume "blew up along with everyone else on the Death Star 2" as the cause of death—especially if they've never taken a screenwriting 101 class.

"Yeah, go right ahead and save our ship."

Next time, you can borrow my Sarcasm Flare Gun™. It spells out "This statement should not be taken at face value if it includes gross exaggeration." in sky writing above your post. Very handy, though usually not necessary in the AVC comments.

FF7 only ages poorly if you're viewing it on an HD display. Any game from that era with pre-rendered backgrounds—including Donkey Kong Country, Alone in the Dark, Resident Evil 1-3—looks like shit if you put it on a modern display: All jagged edges and chunks of murky color.

I can't wait for the reboot, which will be titled Blart.

But what I really want to know is if they'll have a trailer for [tentpole franchise]: [vague noun]

Maybe the Death Stars were a public works project stemming from the Keynesian economic strategies of the Empire… Sort of like a space WPA.

Appropriate illicit substance for the NFL: PCP.

Oh, Andrew, you blame everything on the New World Order.

I've never seen the old James Bond movies that dealt with Spectre or Blofeld, so that reveal in Spectre was baffling to me. The script and the direction really wanted to me think that the revelation of his real name was important, but mostly it made me wonder if I'd missed an important plot point earlier on.

Call me a curmudgeon, but shouldn't we reserve the appellation of "football" for someone who actually excels at the game of football?

I've got nothing against Payton Manning, but the only thing worse than the amount of commercial breaks in the NFL is that they usually contain several examples of his "acting".

Okay, so after several years of watching the Pats I've come to the conclusion that I like them. For a couple of reasons:
1. Musket fire when they score at home.
2. Bill Belichik wears a hoodie on the sideline during cold games. He looks like a 7th grader who's having no fun during winter outside recess.
3. I'm not sure…

Ed Hochuli would do them one handed while an offensive lineman sat on his back.

Bob Hoskins as a cartoon character, maybe.

Wait, other people use the term "Brosephus"? I thought I was the only one…

H&R suggests you use garroting as the preferred method to kill your supervisor.

There is… from a certain point of view.

"this movie doesn't have enough ______ - let's add some superfluous ______" seems to have to have been the Prime Directive when making this trilogy.

I imagine the hardest aspect of the Hobbit to adapt into a feature length film, other than Bard maybe, would be the party of dwarves. How the hell are you going to make them all interesting side characters? To reduce their number to a manageable amount would probably be too much canon violation for fans to take. Maybe…