This is News Corp we're talking about. Rupert Murdoch. When Rupert found out there was a good thing in the world he could bring an end to that he was allowing to happen, he had to kill it, or he would melt. Come on, people.

Well, if it were still as powerful, I wouldn't mind

I noticed that. These guys were hoping, deep down, that there'd be a monster.

I originally tried this to prove how Gizmodo did it more than the closest competitor, but I was proven wrong:

May I suggest that you simply DIAL THE GODDAMN PHONE?!!

Yes, that's... Odd, isn't it?

Melrose Mac is an Apple Authorized Reseller and Service Provider. They're allowed to use the signage, sell the stuff, and do service. That's how people bought Macs before Apple opened up their stores ten years ago.

Okay, but he's definitely not allowed to use that huge Apple logo.

He thought he saw something, but he was distracted by a $100 bill that appeared in his hand.

Sungrok Kim added, "We have developed a 100 mpg car, but it is for internal purposes only. We have developed a possible cure for cancer, but it is for internal purposes only. Hell, we've got crazy unicorn-liger hybrid that eats pestilence and shits money, but it is for internal purposes only."

What I love about Gizmodo is that about 90% of the threads here are tooth-based puns

Many Apple Stores are, in fact, in (nearly) unmarked windowless buildings.

You are going to bring a brand new iMac, still in box, in a big shiny white Apple bag, onto a LIRR train? Let me tell you how that'll go down. You bring the computer on. You sit down. By the end of the ride, you will have no iMac.

What's this for, anyway?

The tooth of the matter is, this is important!

Not a Toyota. Look at the rear lights, it looks like a late model year Hyundai, probably a Sonata. Hyundai updated their look recently, I believe with the 2011s, before which the rear lights didn't have that shape. So, it's got to have a plate issued within the last year or so. I'm not as familiar with CA plates, but…

I have a 2007 MacBook that I still bring in for free parts replacement. Love the little guy, but the palm rest plastic chips after a few months. So, every few months, I have the keyboard and plamrest piece swapped out.

So, break your cousin's kneecaps (as suggested by another commenter), then flee the scene. They'll ask him who did it. He'll say you. They'll go look up your records, and find him. His picture, his prints. They'll see your name is his alias, and ask him if he's sure "you" did it. He'll say yes. They'll send him for…

@OfficerMike: And a preposition I think...