100 fucking pages left and you spoil the Mario-is-actually-Joey-Votto plot for me. Fuck everything. Fuck the Reds. Fuck books.

The last NFL game I went to live was years ago. Bears-Falcons on November 7th, 2001. At the Georgia Dome, they announced over the PA system that America had begun airstrikes on al Qaeda in Afghansitan. The crowd went fuckin wild with cheer and applause, chanting ‘U-S-A. U-S-A.’ I was nine years old. I will never…