we learn that he believes in “Jewish Standard Time” (when you have a soft arrival for cocktails)

Naomi and Liev’s place at least sort of looks like people live there, though there’s some obvious staging of the sort that makes my eyes itch.

I’m sure they’ll work it out. It sounds like a miscommunication.

“She’s really fucking busy” = “We didn’t even try because we can’t fucking afford her.”

This is just like the Kathryn Knott incident a year ago where 12-14 people beat up a gay couple in Philly. I swear to god I don't know what's happening. I know there's always been this racial animus but things seem worse than ever. You have assholes like Trump saying black people, Latinos, Muslims, (basically anyone…

He once said on the show that he’s “passionate about socks.” I tried to find a GIF, but instead I found this one:

She’s awesome enough for me to overlook her politics, unlike say...less-than-awesome Kelsey Grammer, or hot and funny but not hot enough for me to overlook politics Mike Rowe, for instance. She used to campaign for George HW Bush, so I knew she leaned right.

According to the online gossip rags. She was Jay’s sidepiece, talented nonetheless, and Beyonce got her career shelved. Those are just rumors of course.

Anybody who says money doesn’t make you happy has never had money. Now, having a lot of money that it causes you distress and creates more problems..sure, that can cause major angst and paranoia. But having enough money that you don’t have to worry about paying for bills and can live a comfortable lifestyle can…

This is one time I think Kanye said it perfectly - “having money’s not everything, not having it is”

Mariah to her kids, “Daddy was always a good listener and obeyed Mommy, you should follow his example.”

The man you shows up to your arraignment or to bail you out of jail is your husband.

Fuck cancer. And the show must go on.

Vaping? Yeah, I guess that’s cool.

If your vape pen is truly scentless, fine, do what you want. If your vape pen stinks like blueberry unicorn vomit, I say you should be ejected from the train before the next stop.

#hottake

Last night Sarandon was nominated for a SAG for her performance in The Secret Life of Marilyn Monroe;

Like others have said his gifts to his assistant and son’s nanny show what a decent dude he more than likely was.

Someone on Bye Felipe mentioned sending them a picture of an even bigger dick back.

I enjoy responding to dick pics with a picture of a scientist holding Rasputin’s penis in a glass jar of formaldehyde.

A post has been making the Facebook rounds about a woman who sends pictures of her shits to guys who send her dick pics.