YOUR ARGUMENT IS INVALID BECAUSE NATHAN FILLION WITH A KITTEN

Honey, he never made the Rocket Cat weapon. He just wrote about it. I think the cats were fine. Except they were cats in the 1500s and they probably lived a shitty life anyway, much like every other living thing that was alive in the 1500s.

AND I THINK IT'S GONNA BE A LONG LONG TIME

I'm a rocket cat.

Ugh Katy Perry dissing Miley Cyrus is kinda like the pot calling the kettle a slut.

Oh fuck me, I'm Team Miley.

What's the gigahonkie to dicktillion conversion?

The $12 falafel platter at my local Greek place is at least 3 meals.

THIS PORTENDS THE END TIMES.

The diaper aesthetic logo seems appropriate, since their food tastes like shit.

Damnnn, all the ladies in the bachelor this year were insanely awsome and cool. Sharlene needs no words, Andi is totally fierce and Lucy and Kelly are hilarious. I don't think Juan Pablo is worse than the other bachelors. I think the female contestants this year were just so much better than usual that his shit became…

I can't understand why, but I can't get halfway through that song without getting a headache. Nothing against Beyonce, but it's just so darn shouty.

I want to say something positive about my hormonal birth control, but I don't want to spend the afternoon being lynched by people who say that I don't understand the side effects, because doctors don't educate people about the side effects, because side effects and willful ignorance. (Disclaimer: Some of us read those…

I am more turned on by the way the inside of an elbow (crelbow!) looks than the way a dick looks. I enjoy penises and what they can do for me, but there is just nothing sexy-looking about a boner.

Thank you and thanks for taking the time to help us filthy, squalid people!

I think I'll pass on having to get groped by some creepy old billionaire

Y'all need to stop pretending that if some richie rich offered you 500K to fly you to Austria and come to a high-falutin' party with him, you'd wouldn't go in a goddamn heartbeat. You're not going to this party because you're super morally superior to a Kardashian, you're not going because nobody asked you.

I really don't care what you think about how Kim Kardashian lives her life, this incident is vile and degrading and I feel for her so much. Imagine having this happen to you! Racial abuse of the father of your child, that you are supposed to just suck up, because of money and propriety. People casting aspersions…