My favorite was “has flavors.” That was it.

My all time favorite tasting note was “wine.”

The “splurge” gift is actually a great deal. It’s a box of 25, so you can cover everyone on your list for $5 a piece, and even have some left in reserve for random birthdays through the year.

I feel like most years Jezebel posts (or repost) like a ‘fuck you’ article to the preceding year. Like, it sucked, it was the worst, fuck it gently with a chainsaw.’ And I always just kind of go...ok guys, all years have shitty things. I just don’t buy into it. A bit dramatic perhaps? But this year I’m gonna be there…

Fun fact! My dog has had exactly one incident of rampaging through the house and destroying shit. He pulled all my books off the bookshelf, shuffled through them, and then tore apart/ate the religious ones only.

See also using tobacco as a descriptor. I had someone gasp and say, “YOU MEAN LIKE CIGARETTE BUTTS?”

It’s a rock with an apple inside.

I once used “stone fruits” and a tasting note for a wine and then was completely unable to convince a woman that our wine would not trigger her allergy.

“finally over a shitty hump in my research program and my partner can move so we won’t be long distance anymore”

A fruit with a pit. Peaches, plums, necatrines, etc.

Gifting oral sex to friends is... oh, that’s not the kind of head you meant.

Since you’re too lazy to google, it’s a fruit with a pit. Like peaches, plums, apricots, cherries, etc.

Wasn’t it also that during this time they believed in “bad air” and thought burning herbs or using certain oils or whatever could prevent you from becoming infected.

Yep! It’s all a part of ‘miasma theory’, or the idea that bad smells/air caused disease.

Subtle suggestion: If you’re ellipticalling at your desk, the plague mask isn’t a bad way to hide the fact that you’re ellipticalling at your desk

Wasn’t it not only to block out the stench, but also because they thought the plague was air born and those fragrances would protect them?

My stone fruit allergy really WAS bad in September. But I only complain about it to my mom. Don’t anyone buy me any of these presents, especially the religious book. Unless you like the idea of being hit in the face by godly literature.

Good shower head is missing from this list.

They used to stuff fragrant stuff in there to block out the stench of dead bodies/general poor sanitation.

I’m genuinely curious: How is it that you are familiar enough with this blog to know that you should hide behind a burner, yet still have no idea how it works? And what does it feel like in that moment when smug arrogance turns to embarrassment?