Well it’s the same handful of commentators, who only appear now on the Depp stories to defend Depp and say how awful Jez is (so why are they reading it?) which is what is really suspect, and here’s the thing.

“We’ve got a wood-burning pizza oven in the garden Ea luxury, I know, but it’s one of the best investments I’ve ever made... One evening when I had my wood-burning stove going I realized I hadn’t thought of dessert.”

Yeah, it’s sort of like those bits of old folk wisdom that kinda, sometimes make sense, but not for the reason they think. Like, going outside in winter time with wet hair will not in itself make you sick. That’s not how germ theory works. But it might make you cold, and you might need to spend more time indoors…

GOOP doesn’t yet sell a crystal-infused, silver-mesh-embedded, sage-smoked face mask for the low low price of $129.95 that does absolutely nothing to prevent infection yet?

It’s been a minute since I’ve done this, but I think it’s time to revisit some of my fave Gwyneth Paltrow quotes of all time:

For fuck’s sake he’s still trying to claim he’s an “Injun”?

These remedies all remind me of things we tell ourselves, with our own internal logic that is based on nothing scientific. “If I take this flu pill with orange juice AND a multivitamin, it will probably help like...50% more.” “If I pee on my foot in the shower, that will probably kill that athlete’s foot”. “If I eat…

I do find it odd how these articles always attract the same four or five accounts that spam “what about her recordings!”

He also has multiple settlements and lawsuits in progress of him being physically violent.

Is he still claiming to be native american?

They both have to fight Nicolas Cage?

From what I’ve seen, heard and read, it seems like both Johnny and Amber are thoroughly awful people, which is why the only solution here is: Cage Match.  

Everyone else can weigh in on the substance, but I’d just like to state that I hate his affected “Britishisms”. Dude, you were BORN IN KENTUCKY.

Who zipped him in the suitcase? If this was a game of hide and seek shouldn’t he have zipped himself in the suitcase? I don’t understand, what kind of suitcase was this that he couldn’t breathe?  (and the jokes are rather disgusting).

all the assholes making corny puns here are gross. shut the fuck up. 

That was her story to police. That they spent the day drinking, painting, and playing games. According to another article this guy had multiple injuries though. When I read that I wondered if she overpowered him or somehow forced him into it. I dont think you can get blunt force trauma from trying to get out of a…

Not so random fact. I'm only 5' 1 1/2" & until I hit my mid 30s I was like 125lbs or smaller. So on several occasions I've curled up in the fetal position in a large suitcase for laughs in front of friends or family members. I used to be able to zip it & unzip it from the inside though. So I have several questions…

Right? It would just be a litany of lectures about how this isn’t funny.

If two people are playing hide-and-seek, and one of them conceals the other, they've missed a few key points of the game

I didn’t understand why he got into the suitcase, so I decided to click the link to the original story to find an answer to my question. Turns out they were playing hide-and-seek?