Regular orange cola doesn’t imbue you with the knowledge and power of the orange’s ancestors.

Can’t wait for Skyscraper 2: Scrape Sky-er

I got a Peter Pan notification for this?

Hey, neat.  Also:  ARE YOU OK???

and as we all know, 12 Imperial men are equal to 19.3 metric men.

We’re doing okay. There are support groups and stuff. The oil addiction is probably the worst part...thank the Maker for synthetic.

Burn my water skis once, shame on you.

I have to get a 4-year old ready to leave the house every morning—I don’t have to imagine it.

My electrical systems make me Lucky Charms! Now I can eat breakfast on the way to work!  Thanks, car!

Now you can bludgeon somebody, and then eat the evidence!  The perfect crime!

Now you can bludgeon somebody, and then eat the evidence!  The perfect crime!

“Flaming Hot” Adam Dallas

Those of us old enough to remember the Great Vertical Hold War of 1979 know that TV setting preferences are not to be taken lightly.

and Diet Cherry Dr. Pepper tastes more like regular cough syrup.  For when they won’t let you buy any more cough syrup.  WHO ARE THEY TO SAY HOW MUCH IS TOO MUCH???

I could go for a Cheesy Fnordita Crunch right now.  I might even order 23 of them.

The timbre of this Timber is like some timber with a tambour.

I watched that trailer above EXACTLY 0.5 times and am still trying to figure out how that horse threw that snowball.

Excited for the Trolls/Trollhunters crossover!

I thought they said “damson plums.” Mmmm...delicious!

Hey, as long as your toaster can accommodate, the thing to do is put both pieces of bread back to back IN THE SAME SLOT. This way, the outside gets nice and crispy while the inside stays warm and pillow-soft, just like me.

If you ever found yourself in Secaucus, you’d do the same thing.