Yeah, I was going to go with a classic myself:

I miss the days when The Onion imitated real life, instead of the other way around!

Interesting how that happened.

IT’S CLOSED CELL FOAM THANK YOU :P

Now a master move of Taylor Swift-levels of planning and petty wud be for her to scoop Jlo away from Drake.

I um... used to live in Santa Clarita. I thought it was all Vampires, gang bangers and cardigans, glad to add zombies I guess.

I kinda hate twitter right now.

I know, right? Exhausting. One could say it’s a...I don’t know....burden?

i’m really struggling to put this into terms that i truly understand, any help would be appreciated.

But I’m esp’ly curious about pay+violence

I think I found the UC’s response:

This is horrible and hilarious at the same time. They’re so fucking dumb it’s kinda funny. You know they won’t be able to organize this shit. They’ve got no hidden cameras and probably don’t know how to set that shit up anyway, they’re going to get busted trying to buy that much marijuana and go broke trying to buy…

This white girl wants to show up for the free weed and liquor. After voting, of course. Think they would give me any?

This is my hometown - and however shitty you think it is, times it by 500 and that’s how actually shitty it is. This kid is monumentally brave - there’s one high school in Gloucester County (I don’t think there are even any private high schools in the county). The willpower to stay this course is tremendous.

Posted by a good soul in the comments section last October:

He clearly meant to leave it to Tom and just made a mistake not having it signed by a second witness. I don’t give a fuck if they legally have the rights to it; that woman especially is a cunt of the highest order implying that her uncle probably didn’t really love his partner of 55 years because of a mistake in…

There’s also this...

Though I certainly understand why he chose not to, I honestly wish Biden had run- and please don’t take that as anti-Hillary, because I have a lot of faith in her. But I often think that Biden would not only wipe the floor with Trump, but do it in such an all encompassing policy and straight-talk smackdown way that…

I thought I had been magically transported to the coast, but as it turns out I’m smelling your comment in all its salty goodness.