I would kill Affleck and Bloom and fuck Theorux

Tim apparently has to deal with this crap all the time too. I can understand just getting really sick of strangers grabbing your junk while you're performing and slapping back at them. My opinion is that if you don't want to deal with the consequences of molesting strangers then you should keep your damned hands to…

As a wise soccer ref I overheard the other day said, "You've got a right to protect your junk." He was talking about not calling hand balls, but I feel like it's a good principle across the board.

Yeah, and somewhere back in the recesses of everyone's family tree is someone they aren't proud about. Take heart, keep your chin up, and recall that ignorance is environmental even if we're not sure about intelligence.

Yeah, I can see that, but I'm a pretty tough kid and I know the farm that this particular milk comes from. Plus, it is so delicious, I'm willing to take the risk. Hey, some people like to eat puffer fish sushi, I like raw milk. So far I've done OK.

*fist-bump* Bring on the milk and cookies.

Gluten is fucking awesome.

At this point, I feel like I'm the only person in this country who can eat milk products and gluten with no problem.

"Kristen Bell doesn't know what to name her second baby."

Actually, Jayne Williams (beloved former colleague and really cool woman), wrote "Slow Fat Triathlete: Live Your Athletic Dreams in the Body You Have Now" in 2004 to encourage woman of all sizes to get out and run and exercise. I'd definitely recommend the book — her humor and down-to-earth style helped me to overcome…

Something I noticed when I trained for my first marathon last year was the wide variety of body types I saw in my training group. There were the typical skinny tall guys and gals with six-packs, but there were also overweight 50-year-olds, new moms with a little extra baby weight, and plenty of muffin tops (my own…

Running makes me feel like I'm dying and I hate being sweaty, so I'm a swimmer, a fat swimmer, which my doctors have always been supportive of. When I swim, I get looks from the men (it's always men) whom I'm lapping, who just cannot believe I'm kicking their asses. Their stupid faces and attempts to beat me are a…

Hahaha! Exactly! Nailed it.

Oh man I had no idea Diane Kruger was 38. She looks amazing. I just marathoned The Bridge and I was thinking, she seems a bit young for this. Shows how much I know.

It's all fun and games until someone gets spicy vagina.

"I miss my old face and bank account" said Kim never.

But the quizzes that tell us which Harry Potter house we'd be in still hold up, right?

I saw a girl in Bendel's who looked SO FAMILIAR. She was too young to be a classmate, and I was trying to figure out if I used to work with her or if she used to date a friend of mine.

My dad did something very similar to Alicia Silverstone. Saw her at a Starbucks in LA about 10 years ago and spent 15 minutes trying to get her to remember which of me or my sisters she went to high school with. She was like seriously, did not go to your daughters school! He told her to check her yearbook when she got…

circumcision is when a dick is filed down into a point, yes.