Listen to you fancy debutants. Soup HELPS the sandwich, sure, but it doesn't make shit. A grilled cheese sandwich is really that detestable without a can of tomato soup? Did you really have a can of tomato soup with every single grilled cheese you had as a kid? Your mothers must have had the patience of saints. The…

Step one in making a grilled cheese sandwich is NOT doing anything with a can of soup.

"aging dinosaur rocker"

Similarly, at the South Carolina State Fair, Kevin Martin of Candlebox relentlessly complained about getting fired at Sonic.

Hey Cleveland, your Christmas beer may be better than ours, but the baseball movies about our team end with us actually winning the World Series, even if they star Jimmy Fallon.

Rallying and still standing after 54 shots? Who are they, Vodka Samm?

Forgive me, but how the fuck is that the restaurant's fault? If those dumbasses weren't choosing to get wasted in the first place, they'd be alive. Stop me if I'm wrong