In related news, Aubry Plaza drank water. It was reportedly wet.

Sexy as a baby's ass?

Smart move by the Reds. He was just clogging up the dugout anyway.

I live in Cleveland. Don't lump us in with these dumb fucking mouth breathers. We don't have a monopoly on asshats. I've been around and found them everywhere I go.

What it is with those assholes in the Ohio State band that won't leave Pam Oliver alone?

No, you just seem to have some issues with anger. I'm not judging. You should feel free to think whatever you want about a place. Who am I to say? Maybe it's justified. Maybe your girlfriend got drunk and pulled a train in the basement of the Velvet Dog. I couldn't say. I just think maybe you'd be a little…

I get it. Anyone that dares challenge anything you write is a troll. OK. And if I wasn't lazy I'm sure I could dig up a dozen links to "fact" that show you are wrong. And you are, because your premise was that you re able to manipulate the heart rate reading of a pulse oximeter measaurably and consistently by mearly…

I guess if you can google it on the Internet it must be true.

I'm not a troll, doctor. You just failed medical school. Holding your breath doesn't slow your heart rate. It just doesn't. It's not trolling when someone tells you you're full of shit.

You seem to have some unresolved issues. Maybe you should talk to somebody.

I'm pretty sure holding your breath doesn't slow your heart rate, but good story.

Hammy's call:

I'm amazed by this. Completely amazed that apparently people continue to give even a remote shit what these morons think, say, and do.

Yes. You are clearly the one who's fun at parties.

RG3 sucks. The Skins should definitely go with Cousins. He's the QB of the future.

Lt Frank Drebin understands.

It was Todd Solondz, wasn't it?

Jerry might want to think about changing his stupid fucking avatar for a minute. Just a thought.

Is it OK with me? I never thought to give enough of a shit to really care one way or another about the whole thing. I never said it was right. I said it was predictable. You could see it coming a mile away. If you couldn't maybe you're the moron. I don't think so, though. You don't strike me as a moron. Just a…

How long should it take? How many seconds is acceptable?