lol This is the best schadenfreude.

My grandpa swears by Oreos and port. Go to.

MALORY ARCHER, YOU STOP THAT

What the fuuuuuuuuu. That’s ridiculous.

Kate’s face up there is the exact face I made when I read this headline. My household is VERY EXCITE.

I had a coworker with a Pinterest board full of the stuff when I was still working retail. I was, like, girl have you SEEN the pallets that come into our warehouse? They are made of rotten garbage.

The laser focus Edelman had to have to make that catch is astounding.

nnnnnNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOPE

Your wife spends a lot of time looking at pallet furniture, huh?

Yeah. Fuckin Collins. WE SEE YOU AND WE SEE YOUR POLITICAL COVER GAMES.

She is SOOOOO GOOOOOD in everything!

Meatdrapes. How come it doesn’t sound like that when I say it?

They’ve probably also all seen The Notebook.

Cheese and fucking rice did I hate ME:2. Space!Bartlett’s sitting there all mysteriously at the beginning, telling me how dire the situation is and there isn’t much time and so I better haul ass all over the goddamn galaxy and recruit/rescue six support characters, like, yesterday, and I spend untold hours on…

I mean...who loves Paramore that much?

My default mindset when I read about The Weeknd is that it’s a whole group, so that was putting a whole new spin on Selena Gomez’ sexy fun for me.

Yeah, this is the real heart of it. This is the reason the Will & Grace return makes me queasy.

Remember Carson’s valiant efforts to Touch the Straight as many times as possible in every episode?

I just discovered Adriene last week, and I have to say—she is delightful! Some might find her language a little too “hippy dippy” (or whatever it is yoga-haters say), but I’m a sarcastic saltbox with a heart of ice, and she doesn’t bother me. Her instruction is gentle and encouraging, and the videos I’ve seen have…

Oh, thank you! That’s really helpful. I always forget how far south those borders extend.