Even my feminist, pro-Hilary, highly educated, Fox-News-hating young coworker is a Megyn Kelly apologist on the basis that she believes in paid parental leave. True. A broken clock is right twice a day.

I think what we are seeing here is that the Coen bros have a Paula Deen-level interest in overall aesthetic.

I am simultaneously excited and terrified, so now I know what it feels like to be my dog on vacuum day.

Damn, that really is brilliant.

I’m amazed these gentlemen could bear to be even in the same room as a discussion about the packaging of feminine hygiene products, let alone COMMENT on it.

Wait wait wait are you saying I need to understand the controls to win? DAMMIT YOU GOLDEN YOUTUBE GENIUS MY LIFE IS FOREVER CHANGED.

We’re sure she’s not actually asking for a banana bar? That would cheer me up.

Are we really going to hold this young man’s Resting Douche Face against him? Advanced facial recognition software evaluated a random sampling of over 3000 humans, and classified both genders with similar expression characteristics—upturned corner of mouth, patronizing cock of eyebrow—as “douchebag.” Statistically,…

Video content perplexes me. How are they supposed to discreetly browse that during class?

Yes, if you know you are pregnant, please stop drinking. If you are actively trying to get pregnant, stop most of your drinking because your reproductive systems will work all the better. But, my goodness, CDC. Maybe lay off the fearmongering. Pretty sure most of the beverages consumed by our ancestors were alcoholic…

I know that guy, but I know, like, zippy zap about him.

I love it. Yes, pray about it. Deep, thoughtful prayer. So deep. Deeper and deeper. Follow the sound of my voice. Can you feel your scalp? The hairs, each individual hair? Feel them leaving your scalp. Goodbye, hairs. Goodbye, voters. Feel the voters.

Maj reference though

SECONDED.

Frankly, the most offensive thing up there is those huge slices of raw garlic on the katsuo parfait. Order it on a date for a surefire ghosting!

I had to really dig through the old memory banks.

I’m just here to say that I ADORE Rachel Weisz and the lack of Weisz in the Mummy 3 means I have still never seen the movie, because no matter how much teenage *heart eyes* I still have for Brendan Fraser, those eyes cannot outweigh the lack of Weisz.

I mean, I’d heard the name? He was in Gossip Girl, right? And maybe Emma Stone’s greatest contribution to society, Easy A? I think?

These dudes with their crooked bowties KILL ME. We’re over here managing hair/clutch/shoes/drape/cleav/earrings/necklace and they can’t take 5 seconds with a handler to straighten that shit out?

Penn Badgley looks like John Mayer in thumbnails and I was prepping my “might be woke, but his music is still #1 on the Date Rape Soundtrack charts, so does that cancel it out?” joke. But, no. It’s Penn Badgley.